Like Real People Do BY Lucien Beauvais

It had been awhile since the last dig that Lucien had actually gone on, not terribly long but then since he had two degrees and a full time teaching position, as well as his little side gig that none of his friends in the academic world knew about, he was a rather busy man. Still, he loved being out in the field and his girlfriend knew that. He was weary to go this time though, since someone was actively threatening his girlfriend's life, well she was more than a girlfriend these days but also the mother of their impending child. Before leaving he insisted on making sure she had someone looking out for her and he ultimately rehired a woman named Grainne who he had used once before back when he'd hired mercenaries to retake his family estate. He knew her well enough to know that Maeve was a lot safer in her hands than anything he could do.

At first they weren't sure if the dig was elvhen in nature or perhaps tevinter, maybe even dwarven, but the further into the abandoned structure, the more it was evident that it was of Tevinter origin, but there were still a lot of dwarven elements. Curiouser and curiouser. He spoke up, partially to himself, and partially to anyone that might be listening.

Ya know, I think this may be one of those ancient Dwarven embassies, from back when Tevinter was still in Orlais. I've heard the one in Tevinter is built in such a way that keeps the dwarves close to the stone and acts in a way that it doesn't feel like they are on the surface....

It was far more often that Finwe was excited out of her mind than she cared to admit. Especially when it came to digging up the past and learning more about the history of her people. But this time, it ultimately wasn't elvhen in nature. And, despite that initial disappointment, Finwe couldn't help their coursing excitement at just discovering something like this. Something people hadn't seen in ages. They got to see and lay their eyes on chunks of history that others in the world now would never get a chance to see. Sad for them. Fantastic for Finwe.

Guess we should have brought some dwarves with us, Finwe replied, a snort laugh following at her own poor joke. Seriously, though, she didn't know shit about dwarven ruins. Sure it looked maybe dwarven, but all she knew was it wasn't elvhen. You sure it's not one of your stinky shem ruins? she asked, squinting at a bit of badly faded writing.

Lucien shrugged and chuckled at the word, shem, the elvhen language had always fascinated him, but the word they used for humans even more so. Then again all languages fascinated him, as they were an important aspect of history. He hadn't exactly been expecting anyone to answer him back, though it was nice not to be just talking to himself for a change. He smiled warmly as he considered his response.

Well, I'd say half human, half dwarven, at least the studies I've done on Tevinter architecture suggest that when they help build a dwarven embassy, the above ground part usually matches the architecture of its surroundings, and then becomes more and more solely dwarven the further down you go. We'll know for sure if we find a thaig underground beneath this structure, unless it's been closed off from the surface, which is entirely possible.

At Lucien's words, Finwe scrunched her nose up. Thaig. They weren't stupid, they knew what the word meant... but in the current climate of the world... it didn't mean good things. They, in fact, meant bad things. Very bad things. Nasty things that continued to give her nightmares after the limited encounters thusfar. Nope. No. This probably needed to stop.

Nope. Let's uhm, no. We should leave. This stinks, it'll probably be worthless and... who cares about the dwarves anyway? Finwe offered an awkward smile and a shrug.

Lucien paused and looked over at Finwe, she sounded worried, hesitant maybe, but he was so into what he was doing that it hadn't clicked why she was perhaps worried about a thaig and what was down there. Plus there was still so much to explore in the above ground bits, he shrugged and smiled warmly.

Well, there's still a lot up here to catalogue, enough that I don't imagine we'd have time today to even venture down to see if there's a thaig down there or not. I mean can we really leave it now, we've barely scratched the surface, Tevinter is still such a mystery to those outside of it, imagine what we could find here for tomes and books, even if it was a dwarven embassy, they'd have logs and records and such!!!! He was hardcore nerding the fuck out!

Finwe crinkled her nose. You mages and your Tevinter hallashit! Her hands came up to clap as she accentuated each of her next words. No. One. Cares. About. That.

And by no one she meant themselves. Them. She. Whatever. Finwe did not care. All she did care about was not finding yet more darkspawn in the name of shit they didn't give a zeroth of a fuck about.

Bring a Grey Warden or whatever here. I need to know there's no darkspawn shit happening here, she added, waving her hands around their general area. I have quite had my fill of that, thank you very fucking much.

Lucien thought about pointing out that all history was important regardless of race, but considering what the elves had been through over the years, he wasn't about to argue his point with her, or defend why he got excited about all history. As far as grey wardens went, well that was something he felt confident that he could find a solution for.

Actually I know a grey warden, my girl friend's brother is the warden-constable for Orlais, if he can't do it himself I'm sure he can send someone. I'll send him a raven, I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping us out. Shouldn't set us back too much, and you're right, best to be safe and make sure that if there is a thaig down there that it's not crawling with darkspawn, don't want any surprises. He said with a nod and a warm smile.

It wasn't as if Finwe cared overmuch about who or what came to investigate if there were darkspawn. Good, great. Grand. Get 'em here and let's go. She offered a "chop-chop" like clap before stepping away.

I could use a food break anyhow. They'd paused to look over their shoulder at Lucien. You coming? The food ain't gonna eat itself.

Lucien nodded, there wasn't much they could do now, so leaving was really the only thing they could do. Though it was hard for him to step away, he was a bit like a dog with a bone once he got into something. He tipped his head at the mention of food.

Food actually sounds really good right about now, lead the way. He fell into step with Finwe, his mind on his work and food at the same time, already going over the message he would write and send to Vincent.

Especially because I didn't make it! she added, sing-song and giggling. Finwe's reputation proceeded them on, well, not being able to cook. Anything. Burn, sure. Char to the beyond and back? Absolutely. Cook? Nah. Not to say she wasn't trying to learn. It simply... was not as easy as digging in the dirt for history.

Arriving back at the base camp didn't take much time, especially with Fin and a pep in her step. Stomach growling and demanding anything she'd shove in her face. This time, at least, it would be decent. Stew. Something hearty, stick to the ribs and filling for work like this.

It took all of about two minutes before Finwe was balancing two bowls with spoons and making their way over to Lucien. No incident and one was being shoved at him. Unable to rid herself of the bowl fast enough so she could scarf at her own. The prospect of food only making them realize how hungry they actually were in the moment.

Manners? They didn't know her. This is better than sex, she quipped with a delighted groan of enjoyment of the food. Finwe literally had no basis for her claim, but who care about sex? Especially when things like digging for elvhen history were more exciting and food like this was way more satisfying and enjoyable.

Lucien couldn't really talk, he wasn't exactly a five star chef in the kitchen. He was often too distracted by things to pay attention to the food cooking, especially any food that needed to be watched carefully, like grilled cheese sandwiches or pancakes, and any time he tried to make an omelette, it almost always turned into scrambled eggs. So he grinned at the words, but made no comment.

He was glad to be back at camp. His stomach was making audible growing sounds, even though most of him wished he could be back at the dig. He was already writing the letter he'd send Vincent in his head and trying to remember where he put the pen and paper. It was somewhere in his things. He took the offered bowl and sat down. He has a spoonful in his mouth when Finwe made the sex comment and it made him basically choke on it and then sputter.

You're either doing sex wrong, or doing stew incredibly right. He said as he tried to clear his throat from having nearly choked to death on his food, though he supposed that was a little dramatic, but still food down the wrong pipe did not feel good.

Lucien, of course, had a come back for her remark and she rolled her eyes at him. Then stuck their tongue out. Maybe there is no right way of doing sex. Maybe it's all just weird and gross and moist and... They trailed off, making a face and waving their hand - spoon and all - around. They also feigned gagging at the thought.

After a moment, Finwe added: And don't be so dramatic. You've heard worse things.

If sex is so terrible, why would you compare it to sex? He asked as he cleared his throat, he hadn't meant to react like that, just she'd taken him off guard and it made him laugh, and by extension inhale the food down the wrong pipe. He tipped his head curiously. Usually when he'd heard that phrase, or used that phrase, it was meant to be compared against something that was fantastic, so he was a little confused, unless she was being sarcastic about hating sex, which was possible, it wasn't like he knew her all that well.

Fin found herself scowling a bit at Lucien. Stop that. This isn't a place for logic talk. Besides, isn't that something you people do? Compare things to sex? She asked, waving her spoon around at him. Stew flicked about in a few places before she scooped up more to take a bit.

The fact that they were no fan of sex was not one that she hid. Not that it was something they'd tried. No, no. Too many friends that shared way too much information. All she got out of it was it was gross and nasty and why would anyone waste time with it? Crazy, really. 

After a few moments, they took another contemplative bite. Then, mouth still full, tried to ask the question that came to mind. When will your warden friend arrive? I don't want to wait too long and waste more of our time here than necessary. Swallowing about halfway through, they'd start to make a bit more sense.

Lucien chuckled a bit at the comment about there being no place for logic, Finwe was definitely amusing, he rather enjoyed having them around, it certainly meant things would stay upbeat, even if the topic delved into the area of TMI at times, it didn’t really bother him, at least when it did it was usually only a little bit and he did his best to hide it, usually was more surprise than bother really. He looked up at the sky for a moment, then in the direction he expected Vincent would be coming from.

Shouldn’t be long, I’m kind of surprised he’s not already here to be honest, though he is rather busy, but he said he had to be out here any way for Warden business so it was no bother making the side trip. He explained as he took a few more bites of his food and then set the bowl aside, not feeling quite as hungry as he’d thought he was.