fragile minds

He was quiet, as she mentioned how lucky his partner was to have him. It was... strange, to hear such a phrase. Especially when many restless nights stemmed from the fact he couldn't let go of the past; of what a spirit possessing Carasson had done. And he knew the other man hadn't forgiven himself either. He hated it, not being able to forgive. He hated that neither of them could forget.

But he loved Carasson... and he'd not stop trying to make their relationship work until they'd done everything possible. It wasn't that Chip and Cara didn't love one another; rather, they were both so in love that it hurt to be around the other. To remember the things they'd done to survive. Much like Shaeran had been saying; survival shouldn't require another's destruction.

But he knew from experience.

Sometimes it was you or them.

Her next statements were about the loss of their clan. Another thing he couldn't forgive or forget. Her fingers twine through his, and he squeezed her hand in return. Tevinter will have to go through me, if they come. He murmured. And he trusted that Cara, no matter what happened between them, would follow his lead.

I'm going to take you to the Dread Wolf. A fearsome name throughout Dalish mythology; though Chip had recently learned the truth about the man. He'll be able to help us. He squeezed her hand tighter, You'll be protected under Arlathan's code of conduct. Elves are welcome, regardless of their history. It's its own nation, now. He didn't know if Arlathan would welcome the woman before him, given the change of power... But he knew the old Keeper would have. And the Dread Wolf would help them, regardless.

In the far reaches of her mind, the whispers of Andruil were growing ever louder, telling her that she wasn't safe here. At first, she tried to block them out. Slowly but surely, though, she found herself leaning into the whispers. In the here and now, she would do her best to relax. By morning, she'd be nothing but a memory, washed away by the tide. She just had to wait a little while longer. After he showed her to her hut and they parted ways, she would make her exit.

He didn't need her to complicate his life any further and that's exactly what harboring a dangerous fugitive would do for him and the clan he'd worked so hard to build. She had to accept the truth. She wasn't part of his clan any longer and hadn't been in years. The day she'd been taken was the day she'd stopped being part of his life. They couldn't turn back the clock like nothing had happened. He couldn't erase what she'd done. Similarly, neither one of them could erase the past twenty years.

All she could do now was grant him a tender mercy by leaving. It was the least she could do in exchange for the few moments of peace and quiet he'd given her. Regardless of her future intentions, she allowed herself a chance to relax for however long she had left. Andruil's whisperings were counseling her to run now, but Shaerana knew better. Chip would only follow her and drag her back to his home. He'd effectively endanger the many for just one lost soul. She couldn't allow him to do that.

She had to be strategic about all of this. She couldn't allow room for error or for him (or anyone else) to follow her. Things would only get messier, and she couldn't guarantee anyone's safety, least of all if Andruil had Her way and took over. Shaerana was already hanging onto her willpower by the thinnest of fraying threads. When that thread finally disintegrated, she wanted to be far away from here, in a place where she wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else. I look forward to meeting him. Even to her own ears, the words sounded hollow.

Xochipilli had never expected to see anyone but Inala from Rajmael. It was... almost a relief to know that not everyone had died. But the worst part was that he'd be wondering; had they been taken to Tevinter? Were they elsewhere, thinking their clan was entirely gone...?

He was quiet, as he rubbed Shae's back. C'mon. Cara's not home tonight, so I'll take you to my hut. Cara kept his own hut, though they often shared a home. Chip's had an extra room, a separate bed than his, because he often had guests who needed a temporary place to stay.

He moved to stand, pulling Shae with him. There's a bed for you, might have to get some clean blankets... He'd make the bed up for her, though. Chip was surprisingly domestic, though that should be no surprise given that he ran a clan. He wasn't presumptuous enough to assume Shae'd share his bed; though he wouldn't say no if she made a move. But right now, she just seemed sad. Unsure... Flighty. And he'd rather see her calm and comfortable than any of those things.

When he helped her up, she folded into him. She remained in that position for precious moments and, before long, she was reaching up to cup his face. She closed the distance between them, pressing her lips softly against his. I love you. She whispered the words against his lips then carefully trailed her lips along his jaw. I meant what I said about celebrating, by the way. If nothint else, she could always distract him from his thoughts for a little while.

She knew her absence would only make things worse but, for tonight, they could play pretend. You shouldn't put yourself out. I'm no stranger to sharing a bed with you and I think, tonight, I could use the company. How he took that was, of course, up to him. She tucked her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. Her heart ached, knowing what was to come. As much as she tried not to think about it, it became all she could think about.

When she felt like she could stand on her own at last, she reluctantly pulled away from him. Lead the way. For now, she would follow his lead. As soon as she saw an opening, she would take it. She wanted to stay. She wanted to stay more than anything, especially now that she knew Chip was here and that he was safe, but she couldn't trust herself. She had to protect that which she held dear by any means necessary, even if it meant breaking her own heart in the process.

Her lips met his, and his hand cradled her head, a gentle touch that he held until she straightened and stood on her own. Mmm, you love me, even still? She did not know what he's done over the years to ensure the safety of his people... Her people, if she'd stay. That same kind of safety would extend to her.

You always did fall fast. It's still quite endearing. He breathed the words, and leaned to steal another kiss. Let's go celebrate.

The familiar glint in his eye would certainly inform her how he'd taken her offer to share his bed, though he was never one to pressure her into anything. She'd have to initiate, once they were there.

He led the way, fingers curling through hers as he pulled her with him by her hand, It's not much but... I like it, he said, as they stepped into his hut. He still had to duck to enter easily. The doorway had been built a tad too low, and he was working to rectify that.

I've got some sweets from a delivery this morning, he moved to rummage through the pantry in the main room of the hut. His bedroom was the only room that had walls and was separated. For our celebration. He no longer kept alcohol on the premises, and Carasson would skin him alive if he found anything in the hut.

As a result, he'd developed a sweet tooth. And as he held out a wrapped pastry towards Shae, he grinned sheepishly. I'll also get you something more comfortable to sleep in... one of my shirts, maybe? It'd be large on her; large enough to count as nightwear.

She laughed a little against his lips and shook her head, wiping a tear from her eyes moments later. How could I have ever stopped loving you? Whether or not you see it, you're a damned good man and, from the time you first confided in me your plans to be a Keeper, I knew you'd make your clan proud. It wasn't like her to gush, but... This was a special occasion, and she figured he might need the bit of ego boost. "How can I fall in love with you when I never fell out of love with you?" She inquired with a soft chuckle, following him to his hut. She tried not to laugh at the sight of him ducking into his own home, but... It was pretty funny.

She didn't have a similar problem, thankfully. She followed him into the hut without ducking down and whistled low. Lookit you, getting deliveries of sweets... She was teasing him mostly, trying to make it seem like she didn't plan on leaving. She knew the longer she stayed, the harder it would be for her to leave, but... She bit down gently on her lower lip and sighed. Hell, how could she leave him now? She'd be a damned fool to break him a second time, even if the first time hadn't been her own choice.

She accepted the pastry and examined it for a moment, reminded all too soon of how little she'd eaten during her trek from Orlais. Or I could sleep in the nude. She spoke with a shrug, tearing off a piece of the pastry and popping it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, closing her eyes. The flavors that bloomed over her tongue caused the softest of moans to bubble up from the depths of her throat. Once that first piece of pastry was down, the remaining pastry knew no mercy. When she finished it, she blinked and licked her fingers, looking down for a moment to hide the blush that warmed her face.