remembrance

If he deserved anything, it was undoubtedly the withering resolve he felt kneeling in front of her. There were so many unspoken truths floating stagnate between them. Truths that if spoken would shake the foundations of their fragile and tenuous peace. Truths that would disintegrate whatever hope he was still holding onto. Truths that needed to come out, that should be voiced but truths that even he was too cowardly to face. Blights and archdemons were impulsive foes to him, but the way he felt about Alyvia Arlange? Catastrophic and debilitating fear. He hated himself for it. Hated that he couldn't face it, hated that he'd used his one favor on something he may very well never forgive himself for doing. 

At her stilted words, he felt the courage inside of him shrivel to a haunting shadow inside of him, leaving him alone in the void. 

He tucked the vial back into his pocket and looked up at her again, meeting her cold gaze. He cleared his throat nervously. Certainly not, your Grace but I'm obliged to tell you that you should consider evacuating the city. Orlais is no longer safe. He thought about the other country far too much for a constable of another country's order. He simply couldn't stand to think of her and her family surrounded and stranded waiting for their doom.  

But I confess that is not why I came here today. Sweat beaded at his temples, on his palms, his throat turning tight with nerves. He looked around at the others in the room, others he didn't want overhearing his true intentions. I'd like to request a private audience to discuss some important matters.