gentleman, is she rly your wife if you don't kill her once?

Solas chuckled as she dismissed the idea of a tailor. His laughter faded in his throat, though, as she posed her question. Ah... Yes. I think if you had left the others alone, they would not have been keen to help Elgar'nan remove you from the picture. However, Elgar'nan would never have left you alone, my love.

He leaned into her touch, as her fingers wandered over the planes of his face. Solas' hands reached to cup her face, fingers drifting over the exceptionally soft skin of her cheeks. Elgar'nan would have killed you on his own, eventually... Likely after another refusal to wed. He murmured, and though this was a serious conversation, he brushed his fingers along the length of her ears, and flashed her a soft smile.

So no, you are not entirely at fault. Though Solas blamed himself for her death; believed if he had not been with their remaining daughter that day, he could have stopped it. And as his thoughts wandered to their daughters, he pursed his lips and sighed. She had a right to know.

Or perhaps she remembered...

Do you remember who laid the blow that took your life? Cautious, almost hopeful that her memory was gone, because it was not an event anyone should remember. But he was fearful she might hate their daughter, for what the girl did at the hands of Elgar'nan, the man who had stolen her away and turned her into a monster.