Nightmares Take Us All

A few years ago, she would have had no problems using that declaration to her advantage. Would have had no problem gently pressing him back down to the ground and using sex to keep him happy, to keep him firmly beside her. A few years back it would have been easier to be dishonest, to act and to say exactly what he wanted to hear. But something inside her broke a little at how much it would hurt him later down the line, if she wasn't honest right now.

You know I can't say it back, right? Eithne started gently, turning around so she that she could feed her arms around his middle, to hide her face against that hand he had just been using to try and calm her down. If I say it, I want to mean it. But I also don't want to give you hope that I will ever be to the point I can allow myself to feel like I can... she trailed off, because the tightness in her chest was growing more persistent, crushing, oppressive in it's heaviness.

She gulped down a breath, or tried to at least, as she hid her face more, feeling the shame creep back up. It hurt so badly, tearing down into her, deep, to be saying it. But she knew. I want you. I do. I want you more than I can bear, than I can speak. But Mar, I can't.. I can't ever.. Can't ever what, she asked herself. Can't ever be happy? She had done unspeakable things, would continue to do things when the morals aligned in such a way that she felt empowered to do something about it.

But this?

Her fingers curled into the back of his tunic, into fists as she struggled with the inner turmoil that took her from him. I would have you, right here, over and over, if I thought I could be who you wanted me to be. If I thought that one day I could be a good enough person to be deserving of that love. She took a deep breath, and slowly unfurled her fingers from his tunic and tried to let go, tried to step away.

She couldn't.

So she did what her body was screaming at her was right. Her nose tracing along his jaw, a hand coming up to cup along his cheek, to drag a thumb down his lower lip, dark orbs pausing a moment there on those lips, before tracing up further to his eyes. But I'll swear this to you, the day I think I can say it back to you, I will be yours, and you will be mine, if you'll have me. If you'll let me. She wanted to kiss him then, to seal that deal, but she knew if she did she wouldn't stop. She'd take and take and take until there was nothing left of him.

Until she had consumed all of him and left behind a shell where her Marcellus once was.