I remember losing hope

Her skin against his, the way her hair tickled his face, Rene felt himself fall into memories past. How many times had they been like this in his study? Her sat atop his desk, him pressing into her, holding her as they teased, kissed, planned their future? Catching her lips, Rene rekindled their memory anew, breathing new life into their wounded souls. The arm around her waist shifted, drawing her tightly against him as he pressed his hips into her roughly.

[color=#c10300]“The things I would do if time were not against us,”[/color] he’d whisper against her lips. Gods how he had missed her, flooding his senses, drowning himself in her was all he wanted, yet this was not the place nor the time for losing themselves in one another. A travesty.

He brushed his thumb across her lips,[color=#c10300] “Shh,”[/color] tilting her chin up so her gaze would meet his firm and sure one. [color=#c10300]“I’m here. You can. Together we will fix this.”[/color] He knew the darkness she crept around. She would never say it, but Rene understood the dangers she faced. Geralt would not accept her returning empty handed, figuratively or metaphorically. 

Rene’s touch traced back along her jaw. [color=#c10300]“Does … your cousin still have that cottage?”[/color]

Actually properly feeling sexual attraction again was hard, she had to keep remind herself they were at a friend’s wedding and had limited time before the spy found her. She didn’t want it to end, the idea of going back home after the wedding to her asshole husband was an unbearable thought. It would be even more unbearable if she didn’t do what she came there to do, the little side mission Geralt gave her on top of the simple act of being there for her friends in their time of joy.

The little summer place? I think so, at least if not they haven’t told me. I know they barely use it right now since the Blight. I mean the blight may be over, but most of my family aren’t keen on leaving the city limits, they don’t entirely trust it’s safe yet. She explained, Val Royeaux had been one of the few safe places that remained near the end of the Blight

Why, what are you thinking? She asked and then sort of burrowed up against him, wanting to soak up as much closeness as she could before they’d have to part. He fit her body like a custom pair of gloves, like they’d been made for each other.

She was intoxicating, a high that stirred things in him that no-one had ever, would ever,  hold a candle to. He was a ghost without her, reduced to a mere shadow as he tried to cope without his better half, the one who he’d entwined his soul with. His attraction based on their long established friendship, their love blooming as they studied into the quiet hours. There was no one else for Rene. He would take no other for his wife, even if she was currently a madmans.

[color=#c10300]“The village it’s near has a telescopic glass, to study the stars,” [/color]he explained, [color=#c10300]“Francis in Astronomy has work to be done, calculations to be made.”[/color] His forehead pressed against hers, [color=#c10300]“I could visit. I remember the gardens were always lovely this time of year. The way it flowed down to the lake and the small island in it.”[/color] Options. There were various options for them, if she could get away.

Her burrowing caused him to chuckle, deciding to shift them into a  better position. His hand slipped down, sliding under her rear while his body turned to sit on the table edge. Effortlessly he pulled her side on, into his lap, arms drawing around her tightly, but careful not to ruffle the dress too noticeably. His face tucked itself into the crook of her neck, breathing her in between soft kisses against her flesh.

[color=#c10300]“...How are your crossword skills? Do you still subscribe to Guido’s challenges?” [/color]It had been their challenge during their student days, Guido’s puzzles in the various gazettes and annals published to stimulate competition among the academics.

Claude could spend an eternity in that room, she didn’t want it to end. For a few brief moments her life was bright and warm, but soon the sunlight would fade, and she would go back to the dreariness that was her life.

The gears were spinning in her brain as he spoke about the place. Could she get away, did she dare? With the blight over travel was mostly back to normal. She had heard Geralt talking about going to check on some of their vineyards in other parts of the kingdom. There would be spies to content with, but what was that but a little challenge. Besides, what if he did find out, how much worse could her life possibly get.

I could offer to check on things since the blight is over. See how the estate faired. Geralt should be travelling next week, if he sticks to his schedule. Was it too good to hope for, would she jinx it if she did? She nodded about the crossword. It was one of her rituals she’d kept after they’d been forced to part ways and she’d been forced to marry Geralt.

Of course, it’s a suitable manner for me to keep my wits about me. It’s also a little piece of you that I carry with me, in silent defiance to Geralt. She nestled into his arms, wanting more, but knowing she’d have to wait was almost torture, but a good kind of torture for once.

Briefly, blissfully, for a moment they were back in his study, tucked away from the world. The way she sat so close, so perfectly that they could remain in that state for hours without discomfort appearing across his face. Not that he’d dare let her think so.

[color=#c10300]“I’m sure he won’t begrudge you checking on a family estate. Especially one so remote. What trouble could you cause?”[/color] he’d flash her a grin, but she knew the man better.

There was some relief when she confirmed that the crosswords were still a part of her routine. Guido had become a friend in later years, the cryptographer, one of Rene’s more regular correspondence. [color=#c10300]“Good, we can give him a cypher. It’ll draw less suspicion and now they really will be my love letters to you.”[/color] He wouldn’t tell her of the countless he’d written in their separation, most ending up burning into ash of his fireplace bar a few. One day he would perhaps show her them once safely free to breathe the same air.

He’d hold her close, enjoying the peaceful calm that her presence at his side created. For the first time in years he felt his mind pause, becoming still for once, caught in the moment. Time was slipping from them though, the call to return to their masked lives would soon beckon them both. He could only hope that there would be more time, that they could have more than these brief glimpses of euphoria.

The prospects of getting to see Rene again, alone, made her heart soar beyond measure. It was risky of course, anything they did was, but with the right words, perhaps they could just pull it off. Regardless of the risk, she wanted it, no, needed it. She was tired of being miserable, tired of playing it safe. She’d rather die than be without Rene, though the problem was less her own death and more what Geralt would do to her loved ones and friends. Because he knew it would be more unbearable for her to see them to be punished for her deeds than punish her directly.

What trouble indeed. With the right coin we may be able to pay off one of his sparrows. They’ve proven to be more trustworthy to me than to him, but only when there’s something in it for them. Sparrows, what Geralt called his little spies. Claude was his prize sparrow, a title she did not cherish. The thought of passing messages in the crosswords also peaked her interest. Any contact she could have with Rene would be a ray of sunshine to her bleak winter days.

Baroness Arlange will support us, since her husband died she’s proven to be an ally to us and has broken ties with Geralt and the LaRues. Her tone at the mention of Baron Arlange’s death was clear, the death wasn’t natural but orchestrated by the Baroness herself because of the abusive tyrant that he was. They needed every ally they could get if they were going to outplay him at the game.

He would take the risk, even if the calculations weren’t favourable. Enough was enough though. If he let her remain parted from him, Rene knew his fate. Misery, the wretched wasting he had lounged in would deepen, darken and change the very nature of him beyond recognition. Manchette didn’t get that victory.

[color=#c10300]“I can certainly give you good odds for the next horse derby,”[/color] he offered. If he could lighten the load with a calculated guess on the race outcome, it would negate Geralt from noticing a drain in their own funds.

[color=#c10300]“Baroness Arlange is a smart woman, she knows a threat when she sees one.”[/color] There was no love lost for a tyrant and a bastard who tried to drain his people dry. Every ally they gained was another piece Geralt could threaten, but now those pieces were rising up in challenge to the wrongs dealt.

[color=#c10300] "We... should prepare to part, my sweet."[/color]

Winning the money from the derby would certainly help matters. The last thing she needed was for Geralt to be on her about her spending at the same time she’s trying to sneak off to see Rene. She nodded about the Baroness, if the rumours were true she’d killed him herself. That was something that Claude had considered, except Geralt had contingencies in place in case he was murdered to make sure all his enemies paid a dear price.

I wish we had more time…. Sure they had plans now, so there was hope, but it only mildly lessened the sting of knowing she was going home to Geralt in a few hours and not with Rene. A sting that hit her right through the heart, but she was determined not to cry, no if she lost it there she would never be able to compose herself, and she still had to plant the evidence on her targets, she needed her wits about her.

I shall look forward to the Crosswords then….. She said kissing him once more, with a feeling like she might never kiss him again, because if this were to be her last, she wanted to make damn sure it counted.

Rene had been banned after a misunderstanding. He couldn’t place his own bets, or attend the event grounds else he’d be accused of fixing the races. It wasn’t really fixing when everything boiled down to numbers and the conditions of the day, but since he rarely left the grounds of the University or his home estate in the valleys. It was always worth having a backer like Arlange, while it was a smaller house compared to the two they could move around more freely than the Dumonts.

“[color=#c10300]We will get more time. And when we do, I intend to worship you for hours.” [/color]It was a bittersweet parting, even knowing that another reunion was in the works. Rene gripped her tighter for a moment, [color=#c10300]“Don’t fret my love, you will see me again, but you have things to do.”[/color] Cupping her cheek, his thumb would trace along the soft skin.

He barely had the opportunity to grin when her lips found his. It took effort to untangle himself mentally, lost in the bliss only she could fan into life. Taking control of the kiss, the scruffy professor would leave her breathless, holding her face close before bidding her good  hunting. While he did pause at the door, a renewed sense of hope swept into his soul, [color=#c10300]“I love you. Forever, and always. Even when only dust remains of me, it will look for you.” [/color]

Leaving her alone, Rene took a walk to the library, hoping the familiar comfort of paper and ink would steady his mounting nerves. He’d make a start of their crossword perhaps… anything to distract him from her playing Geralt’s game.