lesson after lesson

His embarassment was short lived. He'd never intended on hiding his newly augmented relationship from Inala, but he'd also never readily volunteered it. So was it really a secret if it never seemed to come up in conversation? Either way, there was little shame to be had. 

Food for thought dearest. He winked, smiling smug as he dropped his shirt to the sand just out of the foamy surf. 

Even if her intention was to distract Chip, it worked enough to distract him as well. His mouth watered at the sight of her exposed bossom. Well played baby. Was all he said before he smirked and turned to dive into the waves, starting a speedy freestyle towards the appointed turn point. There and back. It was anyone's win now.

As expected, it took so little to distract Chip. And with what could be considered an innocent enough action; as nudity was not shamed nor shunned in the clan. But the reasoning behind the action was far from innocent.

I know, but you're not looking so good right now, she replied, smirking. Despite the brief distraction on Cara's end, he'd already taken off as she'd hoped he would. Better get swimming, Keeper, she added, trying to stifle a laugh.

She'd watch from her position, one arm dropping off her hip, to see who'd come out victorious. Inala, of course, had her preference. But it wouldn't surprise her if Chip managed to pull out a win regardless of her distraction on Cara's behalf.

A grunt of surprise at her words; he'd not realized Cara had taken off. He grumbled as he dove into the surf, disappearing under the water. No magic, no tricks. Except apparently, Inala's tits.

Fair.

He wasn't too far behind Carasson, and when they were almost to the point they'd turn around and head back, Chip reached out and grabbed the other's foot, pulling him under the water with him. You cheater. You're lucky you're cute, slippin' up like that. He huffed, idly treading water in front of his lover. He spoke loud enough to be heard over the water; but not loud enough for those on land to hear them. She doesn't know about us. It wasn't a question. Out in the water, people would see Chip circling the First idly, I'm fine walking away. No, he wasn't. But he also wasn't the kind of man that enjoyed being the dirty little secret.

It wasn't expected but everyone knew that were it not for some sort of assist, he had very little chance of winning. If he did win however, he would owe Inala a great deal for keeping his ego in tact. Off his swam, doing his best to ignore the small swell of guilt forming in his gut. The advantage was too exciting to ignore after all. 

He didn't look back, not as Chip surely realized the distraction and dove in. Therefore he wouldn't know to expect the brush of something against his foot and then an abrupt all stop just short of the natural rock landmark. Panic settled in as he jerked his foot and was pulled under, he gasped for a lungful of air at the last moment looking over his shoulder at the last moment. Seeing Chip was a comfort and little surprise if he was being very honest. Even with a formidable distraction, Chip was still Chip, Keeper of this clan and practically born with gills. Hey I didn't ask her to do that! Blame yourself for looking, and maybe scoop your chin off the floor next time. But yes, he was adorable. His mirth was short lived however as they both tread water, Cara reaching up to smooth his hands over his face and then continuing over his scalp to press curls towards the nape of his neck. He blinked in momentary confusion. 

Why would you walk away? He furrowed his brow. He really hoped either of them asked him to choose because neither would like the answer.

He ignored the passive jab, shrugging. She doesn't know, Cara. I don't like being a secret. She gets to snuggle you, hold you, all these public displays. Not that he was jealous but... it wasn't fair to him. Or her. Or them.

I love you. I don't want to walk away. But... if you can't tell her about us, then... maybe I need too. It's not fair to us, to her either. The first rational thing he's said in a long time; but even now he knows it's true. He'd loved Inala once, cared for her still. He didn't want to hurt her.

Chip paused in front of his First, reaching out a hand to brush his hair out of his face, fingers gentle against his cheek. Just... don't wanna hurt her. And I think the longer we're a secret, the more hurt she'll be. And we can avoid hurting her altogether if I walk away.

He knew Inala too well, to not consider that she might feel a bit betrayed by their relationship being a secret. They should've spoken to her after that very first kiss.

He was at fault too; but he'd already ruined things with her once. He wasn't sure he wanted to ruin anything else.

Confussion danced around his conscience first, then guilt. Guilt that compounded quickly throughout his senses, slowing his tread slightly in the water. Guilt at knowing that he should've gone to her the moment he woke in Chip's bed, guilt at knowing he should never have spent the night at all before telling her. It hadn't been but a matter of days, possibly close to a week now but it was days too long. All of the sudden he felt undeserving of either of their affections. Chip was right. It wasn't fair. To either of them. 

I never wanted this to be a secret Chip. I just....I know I intended to tell her but to be honest, I'm missing some days in between. I know that's not an excuse and not even one I'll give to her....I just. No, I don't want to be a secret. I want you and her. he sighed heavily. I love you too. Eyes were soft with a silent plea again not make him choose. Let me fix this At least this wasn't mortally dangerous like traipsing off to fight darkspawn. Could Chip allow him to fix this? 

He looked back to the shore where he could still clearly see her ample breasts clear as day. He smiled warmly. Outside of his physical attraction to Inala, he felt a love so deep it was nigh unfathomable to him sometimes. How he could feel such incredible deference to one person was wild to imagine. And while his love for Chip was different, it was no less genuine in the way it embraced him. Cara was far luckier than he deserved and he was sure anyone would agree. Let's tell her now. Better for her to lay into them now than water even longer for 'the right moment'. 

Race you back? He reached under the water for Chip's hand in an offer. Together and stroke for stroke they made it back to shore, fingers brushing together until they made their way out of the surf.

Anticipation for the results of the boys' race soon faded into confusion and a bit of concern. They had stopped, that much was clear to see, even from where she stood. But she couldn't hear if they were talking, or what was going on beyond seeing them just treading water. What happened?

Inala frowned, stepping away from the water to grab her top and then Cara's. She threw his on - it was a little less damp than her own - and turned back around. By that time, it seemed they were finally heading back in to the shore. It didn't do much to allay her concerns over what was going on.

When they emerged from the surf together, Inala frowned. Any witty commentary on lack of a show died on her tongue as she studied both of them. She knew both well enough to know something was off. Very off. And so silently she stood, folding her arms over her now covered chest and waiting for one of them to speak. Her expectance of such was quite evident on her face. Someone needed to talk, and it wasn't going to be her in that moment.

Chip frowned slightly. It's not an excuse, but it is worrying. She should know. He insisted, softly. He wanted his lover to tell Inala about losing chunks of time; she'd likely not want to hear anything the Keeper had to say after all this came out.

But I'll let you tell her. He promised, agreeing easily to 'race' back to shore.

The swim back to land was... not really a race, rather they kept stride with one another, fingers brushing until they were walking, the ocean falling beneath them.

He was quiet, biting his lip as he studied Inala, allowing his gaze to flit around to the rest of the clan. Can we head somewhere private? From the way he was acting, she'd likely assume it was to inform him of a relapse.

What else did he have to be guilty about, after all.

He was wracked with guilt. The intention was never to hide anything. Though they'd discussed an open relationship years ago, he'd never acted on it. His tastes were too poignant. No one ever seemed to slake that sort of temptation. Not until he'd realized what had been in front of them all the while. Not until he'd finally had enough of the cowardice. But he'd never once imagined he would hide anything from Inala, least of all this. 

A sheepish smile broke across his lips as he moved for Inala, reaching out for her hand. We need to talk. He nodded his heads towards somewhere less central, inland towards some of the dunes where sea grass sprouted wildly. His expression and tone weren't solemn and serious, but simple and to the point. But if he knew Inala at all, he'd not be surprised if she refused being dragged off to whisper about undesirable news. Cara prepared himself for both.

Inala didn't like this. She didn't like any of this. The way they were both acting. Especially Chip, at first. Her immediate thought was he'd started drinking again. Caving to the stress of their plans and moving the clan out to sea. She frowned, but didn't budge when he asked to go somewhere private.

Air it for the clan, Xochipilli, she responded, voice firm. They deserved to know if he was back in the bottle again, after all. Not that many would be paying much heed to the trio at this stage - those nearby seemed to still be enjoying themselves and relishing in the freedom of a break they'd been offered.

But then her world crashed in just a few words. Cara being the one to say it threw her mind into a spiral of what was happening. He'd reached for her hand, but the pain of worry as to what was happening caused her to jerk away in response. Then talk, she demanded, trying to keep her composure.

Maybe it wasn't worse than the relapse of their keeper. Maybe Chip was letting his first shoulder the burden that should have been his to bear. Only answers from either of them would confirm or crash her suspicions.

His throat bobbed as he looked over to Chip. His eyes searching for an answer. But the way Chip seemed to avert his gaze and tighten his jaw left Cara to assume control of the conversation. His gazed for a moment, staring intently as if to plead one last time. Fine. He inhaled sharply through his nose, turning back to Inala. 

Inala, something happened between us. He paused before continuing. We slept together. He blurted out, cringing that he hadn't found a way to be more eloquent about it.

Inala felt her fears grow stronger and stronger, the longer it took either one of them to muster what they wanted to say to her. But the words that finally came were worse than any fear she'd initially held.

Her jaw twitched as she resisted the urge to have an outburst immediately. They'd had a conversation about an open relationship, but communication about it had been important to Inala. Communication about who and when before things went this far, not after the fact. It made her feel like an afterthought. That neither one of them cared to stop and consider her feelings on it happening.

How long? Her jaw now clenched, she barely managed the words without a wobble of emotion in them. Before jumping down his throat, she needed to know when it happened. Needed to know how long she'd been kept in the dark, blissfully unaware.

The look on her face was one he'd never hoped to see. That he was seeing it now only continued to feed his guilt and satisfy his humility. He deserved this. Two weeks. Telling her it was because he'd also missing large chunks out of his memory seemed like an excuse, despite what Chip insisted. 

Cara's eyes swept over her face, her tight expression. He reached so that he might tuck some hair behind her ear. I never wanted to hide this from you. I promised you I wouldn't. lulled into a silence again he looked sidelong at the Keeper. Plan on jumping in any time soon? he said with a tinge of contempt.

Chip cleared his throat, and let his gaze wander from his daughter, who he'd been watching. The girl had noticed them, was watching them. He's not telling you everything. He spoke, only after his lover addressed his silence. He's been losing chunks of time, Inala. He was supposed to have told you. He promised me he would. He was chewing the inside of his cheek; he knew how it sounded, given his history.

Two weeks. Two godsdamned weeks. Inala's nostrils flared slightly, the first indication of a response as she processed the answer given. She didn't respond right away. Jaw clenched and tight, breathing slow and heavy.

This time when Cara reached toward her, Inala didn't flinch. Not even so much as a blink when he pushed hair away from her face, behind her ear. Her look and demeanour had gone completely dead. Surely enough, Cara kept talking.

Her eyes shifted just enough to look at Chip when he began to speak. A sharp inhale. It would be impossible to tell against the harsh salt of the air if he'd been indulging in the bottle again. Deciding she couldn't discern that right off, Inala ignored him. Shifting her gaze back to Cara. The man she'd called her vhenan for over a decade.

Finally, she spoke. Ma harel lasa. No question, no raised voice. A full statement in and of itself.

The words hung in the air for a long moment before she turned her attention to Chip. And you. Her expression finally broke, a dark scowl falling over her face. Is your only purpose in life to break my heart? Her voice now cracked, wavered.