Like Real People Do BY Lucien Beauvais

Side trip? Side trip! Did you not inform him of the dire state of our situation? My good ser, what if darkspawn were to now, suddenly, pop out of the ground? Like daises? Pbbftt.

With a huff, she set her elbow on her knee, head in her hand holding the spoon. She tapped it to her lips a few times, looking around with unease. They'd already had way too close of an encounter with darkspawn. Once was enough thank you very fucking much.

And without broody or Jam around to help, well then where would they be? Dead! That's what! Unacceptable and unbelieve. Wardens and their business. So little concern for the little folk.

He thought about pointing out that they were out there in the middle of a blight, there were bound to be darkspawn threats all over Orlais at the moment. The Grey Wardens were spread thin and doing the best they could. Though her words kept resonating in him, and probably not in the way they were meant. he kept thinking about daisies, darkspawn and daisies. Suddenly he was imagining darkspawn with large daisies on their heads literally popping up out of the ground and he went from a low chuckle to himself, to suddenly full blown double overed laughter.

I’m…. I just… daisies!!! He was speaking gibberish and struggling to catch his breath. Then horses were heard and pretty soon riders appeared.

Vincent arrived as quickly as he was able, and didn’t come alone. There were grey wardens in tow, just in case there turned out to be darkspawn in the area, he didn’t want to be ill-prepared. As soon as he recognised Lucien, he made his way over to his friend, or rather his sister’s boyfriend. He wasn’t sure if he knew Lucien well enough yet to consider him a friend, though he definitely approved of the match between Maeve and Lucien.

So what’s this about possibly having Darkspawn problems in the area? What is this place any way? He asked, looking around, trying to get the lay of the land.

Not soon enough did a pile of wardens finally appear before them. Fantastic. The one in charge - the friend she supposed? - spoke up. Asking silly questions. Pointless questions. And the roll of their eyes and huff would likely not go unnoticed by any around.

A useless pile of shit, probably, but, Finwe waved their hands. This one thinks it's interesting, she added, pointing to Lucien. And this one, she continued, pointing to themselves, thinks it's a darkspawn disaster waiting to happen.

They stretched a bit, then paused to give a scratch to her ass before giving an audible sniff and looking about. So get to it then, yeah? Finwe waggled fingers at the site. Do your magic warden-y thing or whatever it is.

Lucien stopped laughing once Vincent got there, and listened as Finwe spoke to Vincent. Nodding his head as they talked. Lucien felt like Finwe could be a bit politer about how she asked for help, but Lucien wasn’t about to say anything about it. He pointed towards the ruins.

I’d like to go deeper into the Ruins, they appear to go undergrounds, but Finwe, with good reason, wants to be more cautious. We could have just left it alone and gone on, but I figured if there are darkspawn coming up there, you guys would want to know. Lucien explained.

Vincent would have come either way, regardless of the fact that it was his future brother-in-law asking, but since it was his future brother-in-law asking, he’d come himself instead of just sending senior wardens to investigate.

Sure, we can check that out. Ya know, being out here probably not the best idea right now. Vincent said no more on the subject at the moment and he and his men ventured into the ruins to see if they could sense anything.

After several minutes, that probably felt more like an eternity, Vincent came rushing back to them, clearly not the look of a man about to give good news. Lucien’s shoulders slumped a bit in disappointment, not to mention the fact that Finwe was probably going to revel in having been right.

Good thing you guys didn’t go in. There’s definitely darkspawn, not a ton, but enough to cause trouble. We’re taking up a defensive position at the opening until more men arrive. He explained in as calm a tone as he could muster, he was a professional after all.

Finwe clapped their hands as the warden expressed it was best to not be around this area right now. Sold! Pointing to some of the others that had been working with her and Lucien, then, they continued. A'ight you lot, get yer shit and les'go.

No one needed to tell them twice they should back the fuck up and move on out.

Not that anyone else seemed to be as urgent on wanting to move out as Finwe was. About to nearly beg folk to get their asses moving faster, it seemed the reemergence of the lead warden did the trick.

A cackling laugh escaped their lips as she pointed over to Lucien. Told you! Finwe tapped their nose. I know when shit stinks.

Turning then to the warden, Finwe continued: Thanks for puttin' him to rights. But it's time for us unimportant folk to scoot.

They'd likely return later. A while later. When it was definitely positively clear of darkspawn. But until such time, Finwe was happy to keep marching their ass as far away from this godsforsaken spot.