There was so much that Loghain was wrapping his head around, being alive again, being right up there near the top of the list. He didn't begin to understand the magic behind what Morrigan did, otherwise he'd probably be a lot more pissed that she even attempted it, let alone succeeded. Then there was some daughter that people kept going on about. He was certain he'd remember if he'd had a second child with Morrigan. The information wasn't really sticking though, as he seemed to keep forgetting, as he kept dismissing the information as being absurd.
On top of everything, some child had followed him from the lake all the way to Amaranthine. At the time, he hadn't really thought much about it, but then he'd been preoccupied with Morrigan being unconscious. He thought she was absolutely adorable. He also noticed she looked familiar, but at the moment he was too distracted to realise that was because she looked like Morrigan, who was standing right next to her.
I mean, if she had a mother or father, why would she have followed us home? Didn't you always say you wanted a daughter named Asha? He asked, again oblivious to the fact they kept having to remind him he already had a daughter named Asha, whose memories seemed totally erased from his mind.
Morrigan had a sinking feeling that she knew who the child belonged too. That she knew what it was. She cast a glowering look towards Loghain as he mentioned Asha. We have a daughted already, named Asha. She grumbled, annoyed that he didn't seem able to remember the girl but remembered Morrigan talking about having a girl. Her name is Asha'bellanar and she lived here, with her aunt and uncle and I'm not sure where she is right now.
Slowly, she knelt in front of the silent child. A carbon copy of herself. And as she knelt, the child tossed an illusioned butterfly in her face, and giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world. The girl resembled her around the first time she'd ever met Loghain; and yet, this child was not a perfect carbon copy. There were features of someone else dappled throughout, that gave her her own unique look. But the magic she wielded felt familiar; too familiar for Morrigan's tastes. And she glanced towards Loghain, who she had not explained everything too. He'd not processed everything.
We'll call you Echo. Do you like that? She inquired, raising her eyebrows at the little child. It was a funny name, considering. The girl was an echo of Morrigan's magic. A creation brought forth from entirely magical means.
"Echo! Echo!" The child clapped her hands, as she declared her name over and over. It'd seem that she liked the name choice.
Right, yes, she had said that a few times, a daughter. He just didn't understand how he could forget an entire person. It seemed so strange and confusing. Then again, everything seemed strange and confusing at the moment, so why not that too? He kept looking from the child to Morrigan and back again until, finally; he realized.
Hey, she looks a bit like you. I'd like to say what an interesting coincidence, but why do I have the feeling you won't agree with me? He asked cautiously. Echo seemed like an odd name, but now that he finally put two and two together, why she seemed familiar, he supposed not that odd. Suddenly something Morrigan had said sunk in and he backed up in the conversation a moment. Wait, why don't you know where Asha is and why don't I remember her?
Morrigan sighed at her husband. Price of magic. Remember? You were dead. Now you're not. We both gave something up. She's irritated, and it shows in the way she's quick to dismiss his concern.
I... don't know where Asha is, though. I don't think that was the price for this magic. She's old enough that, I suppose, she's okay? Uncertainty is never a good thing when it comes to Morrigan, though.
Loghain nodded he didn’t want to annoy Morrigan further. He’d also been trying to remember his time while dead, but it was a bit of a blur. It felt like there were things to remember outside of just black and nothingness, but once he came to after the ritual, it all felt just out of reach. The harder he tried to remember, the less he was able to. Perhaps if he stopped thinking about it so hard, things would come back to him. Then he tipped his head and gave Morrigan a certain look. He wasn’t one for being overly sentimental, never had been, never would be, but he understood enough about what Morrigan had done to realise just what it meant.
I do appreciate it. I mean I don’t really remember being dead, but being alive seems preferrable. I don’t remember any warm lights or happy reunions or anything like that, I don’t remember nothingness or black either. My memories feel, odd about it all, I’m not really sure how to explain it, but either way, I am appreciative. He explained.
Hush, already. You're here. We both paid a price. She moved to nudge the man with her hand, carefully tilting his chin down towards her, so that she could meet his gaze. You're just lucky that I deemed you worthy of everything I hold dear. Her tone was monotone, flat. But her eyes meant the words.
I've looked after Gwaren, while you were gone. And of course, the children. Though he only remembered Kieran. She'd need to figure out where Asha was.
Let's stop trying to remember the past, though... there's something else I want to see if you remember. She reached for his hands, fingers twining carefully through them. And she'd pull him towards the bedroom. They'd always had a specific dynamic, that rarely faltered. And she was curious to see if things in the bedroom would be different, or if he knew his place.
The children, plural. It still frustrated him that there were memories missing. He understood it was a price, and there was no way he was going to argue the fact that he’d never agreed to pay any price. The price was paid, it was done, arguing over the details would hardly get them anywhere, and it wasn’t a hill he was willing to die on. He smiled warmly. Morrigan was family, he’d do anything family, so he knew if the roles had been reversed he too would have paid any price to get her back.
He nodded about the Gwaren bit, at least he still remembered Kieran, and well most things. Imagine if coming back he’d lost all his memories, would a cluster fuck that would have been. Here’s the father of your children back from the dead, oh but wait, he remembers nothing including who he even is. Yea that would have been worse for sure.
Then he grinned, at first, and let her take his hand in hers and be pulled along. Until he got thinking about things, were they sure the only price he’d paid was losing his memories of an apparently much loved daughter? What if there was more that they had yet to discover, what if he’d lost his virility. His eyes went sort of wide and he began to awkwardly shuffle a bit as he was pulled along.
I, er, ahem of course. I just, I mean. We’re sure that um…… In his head he felt like the walls were closing in on him, he tried to focus on Morrigan, but he just kept thinking about how other things might be wrong that they hadn’t discovered yet and he wasn’t sure how to put his fears into words that wouldn’t make Morrigan laugh at him or get mad at him.
Morrigan was oblivious to the panic he was experiencing, until she stopped in the door of the nearest bedroom to study him. His pupils were dilated, he was stuttering. Not uncommon, but he wasn't usually upset about bedding her. Not if the mood was right.
What's bothering you? She tilted her head back, to study him. He looked as young as she did. Though she still appeared younger. It was better that way. You can get to know Asha again. You didn't know her before you died, anyway. It was a non-issue as far as she was concerned. Harsh, but that was the reality of being chosen as Morrigan's mate.
Well, once we find her... anyway. She murmured, under her breath. She tugged his hands again, and settled on the edge of the bed, watching him. And if you're worried about sex, well, we weren't much for sex. Or monogamy, either. What I don't find with you, I'll find with some poor, slightly interested sod with a shiny enough item to garner my interest. She patted the bed beside of herself.
If he sat down, she'd snuggle into his side, I just missed the snuggling. Nobody does it right. She murmured. She was not fond of physical touch; and yet Loghain got away with more than most.
Loghain felt a bit better at Morrigan’s reaction, he just hadn’t fully felt himself yet since the whole waking up from the literal dead, and in many ways he couldn’t even put words to how he felt, only that he just felt off. Maybe that was normal, it wasn’t like he’d ever met anyone else that had come back from the dead, there was certainly no one he could go and ask to see if their experiences matched up.
There was a reason he’d always felt at home with Morrigan, now reminded him of that and made him feel silly for being worried to begin with. He sat down with her on the bed and slid his arm around her. Her scent was something that had stuck with him ever since the first day he’d met her, all those many years ago.
You’re right of course, it’s surreal being back here with you. In a way it feels like barely any time has passed, but I know that’s not the case. It’s definitely never a dull moment with you, though I suppose I’ve dealt my fair share of surprises as well over the years. He hadn’t always made the right choices, but he hoped that he’d made up for his mistakes by now, especially where Morrigan was concerned.
Morrigan smiled as he settled, and she leaned into him. Do you remember how we met? Did he remember the wild Chasind girl who'd snuck into the nearby town of Gwaren, trailing after a hunting party? She tilted her head thoughtfully, studying him. The party had turned on her; fearful of Chasind, much more afraid of any women from the Wilds for they could be a witch in disguise.
She'd shifted forms, which had terrified the group further, and she was gone. Into the sky as a bird, dodging arrows gleefully. They'd not actually met that day.
No, they met a few weeks later, when he was hunting with a group of young men. She'd been a cat, slinking around the brush. Except she did not have total control over her magic back then, and had shifted at random. A naked girl in a bush, peering up at a group of humans as they continued their hunt.
Mother had always warned her that the people of the towns were dangerous; and would only hurt her. And at the time, Morrigan was young and stupid enough to think that her mother simply wanted her to put her entire focus on learning her magic (and she was partly right).
Blue eyes peered through the bush, startled as he'd come to stand before her. And yet, he'd simply raised a finger to his lips. And distracted the rest of his party; shouting about a drake seen some distance away.
You were kinder than any human had the right to be. She murmured, reaching to tug his hair. And we kept meeting up. She'd shown him magic, she'd danced under the moonlight with him. Morrigan had even taught him Chasind dances, Chasind mythology.
Of course, their fairytale had fallen apart when Loghain had recognized the need of Ferelden and put the country before the girl from the wilds.
It wasn’t as if Loghain had never cared for anyone else besides Morrigan. There was Rowan of course, but circumstances had transpired to keep them apart as he put Ferelden before his heart. Then there’d been Celia, but she had been more a bossy force of nature than a real love interest, and with the king’s urging, he’d done his duty and married her. None of them had held a candle to Morrigan though.
She was also a force of nature, one that fate had a way of constantly bringing them together. He certainly had a type, even if Morrigan trumped them all. There were certainly similarities. He smiled and kissed the top of her head.
You were Ferelden, that’s all I needed to know. It didn’t matter what you could do or that you lived in the wilds. He paused, it was more than that and he knew it, but he didn’t know how to put words to it really. That’s not quite true, it went beyond you just being Ferelden, I just didn’t fully appreciate it as soon as I should have. He wasn’t sure he believed in soul mates, but the way Morrigan kept popping back in his life, sometimes it felt like there maybe was such thing as destiny, and maybe things weren’t always easy or normal between him and Morrigan, but did that make what they had any less special?
He left after the Fifth Blight ended, to help Lana and Cullen find Jonathan and Garahel, but left just the same, again putting someone else first over Morrigan. His words to her still echoed in his mind, that she was Ferelden. He’d never said I love you before that, he wasn’t very good at emotional things, but putting Morrigan in the same tier as Ferelden where his priorities was concerned, for him spoke volumes.
Things may not always be easy between us, but I wouldn’t trade any of it. He’d never expected monogamy from Morrigan though, and he probably never would. She was a free spirit and he loved that about her, and would never want to try and cage her.
I'm Chasind. Not Ferelden. It goes over her head; that the man in front of her was trying to tell her that he loved her, as much as he loved his country. She scoffed softly, as if he'd perhaps hit his head too hard and wasn't just coming back from the dead.
He continued to compare her to Ferelden and she just shook her head. I don't understand what you're rambling about, Loghain. She huffed at him, and reached out to pat his cheek. It was as near to affection as she'd show, before her gaze wandered towards Echo.
I think that Echo is the price of my magic. She hummed, studying the child. At least, I think she's got all of mym agic... She glanced up at Loghain. ...and we'll find Asha. Eventually. She had no idea where the girl'd gone.
Loghain let the conversation change. He wasn’t good at expressing his feelings, so he certainly wasn’t about to try and explain himself, when he barely understood. He knew his life would be forever entwined with hers, and that was all that really mattered at the end of the day. Life just made more sense knowing that Morrigan was a match to his crazy. That they somehow made it work even when it didn’t make the last bit of sense.
He looked over at Echo, they reminded him a bit of, something. He wasn’t really sure what, only that when he looked at them, he got a feeling of familiarity. Every time he thought he knew and understood magic, something happened that made him realise he barely grasped its true understanding. A magic child? He’d heard stories, but he hadn’t realised how true they were.
How old do you think she is? He imagined Morrigan was going insane without her magic, he tried to imagine what he would do if he suddenly lost his warrior skills and it was inconceivable. He wondered if it was true, that Echo had all of Morrigan’s magic, if they would be able to reverse it somehow and get Morrigan her magic back, though he imagined she’d already thought of that. When the conversation flipped back to Asha, his forgotten daughter, he tipped his head slightly.
Is it like Asha to run off? While she definitely liked to wander, and didn’t always check in with Morrigan, since she had a tendency to check in with Lana and Cullen more, it wasn’t altogether unbelievable that she’d wandered off, but it did seem unlikely she’d be gone so long that she wouldn’t have checked in with someone eventually. A day tops really.
Morrigan shrugged. No telling. She might be a figment, meant to hold the magic and disappear at a certain time. Or she's a real child, who will be here even after the price has been paid in full. She didn't seem too concerned, and the child did not speak. If anything, the little girl sat in the floor and stared at them both. Wide eyes, though not afraid or worried.
Asha... dunno. I didn't raise her, Lana did. I mean, she went from being a toddler to a teenager... She shrugged again. I didn't cope as well as I should've. Because all she'd cared about was Loghain being gone; Morrigan was not the kind of mother to "put her children first". She always came first in her life.
Though with Kieran it had been different. He'd been her constant, she'd been on the outs with Loghain. I don't think she'd run away, though. Maybe run off to Lana's... but never disappear for days on end. She mused, tilting her head back to study the ceiling. And as she leaned into Loghain, she let her gaze fall back to the child.
Echo, who had followed them. We should probably get Echo a bed... I've not got much in the way of children's rooms here, but we can clear out space somewhere.
The price, he hadn’t really pressed that, he hadn’t really wanted her to pay any price for him, but the genie was out of the bottle, there was no turning back no, so there was no use in dwelling on it. He was happy to have her back in his arms, even if his broody expression that he usually wore didn’t exactly portray those feelings, they were there. That was the nice thing about Morrigan, he didn’t have to be anyone other than himself with her.
Well, I guess we’ll find out eventually. He wasn’t sure if there was one outcome above others that he was hoping for. He didn’t like the idea that he could get attached to her just to have her ripped away, so perhaps he hoped that either she’d disappear before he had a chance to get attached, or that if he did get attached that they’d be around permanently. As to the Asha situation, he opted not to comment on the fact Lana had done most of the raising, though he wasn’t altogether surprised either, knowing Morrigan like he did.
Might want to start with your enemies, or Lana’s enemies. He imagined both had their share of enemies that they’d accumulated over the years. Though there were his enemies as well he supposed, even if he didn’t remember having a daughter named Asha, that didn’t mean his enemies had forgotten. Granted a lot of his enemies were the good people of Ferelden who refused to get over his actions back during the Fifth Blight, not the sort of people he imagined would use a child as a pawn for revenge. As the conversation moved back around to Echo, he looked around and nodded. Then smirked as a thought occurred to him.
At least she’s not an infant, no nappies to change or midnight feedings to deal with. He himself didn’t remember all the help he’d been with Asha as a baby, so from his perspective he’d never really helped with that phase of life. Not with Anora and also not with Kieran.
