The flood thing

She heard his words and took them to heart as they continued along their way. She knew Bajie had unquestionable faith in her to do what was needed, but at the end of the day, she had trouble believing in herself enough. She was still freshly woken, even as long as she had wandered in her sleep, she still felt like the fighting pits were a few months back. What you so desperately tried to secure for me in the past, a life that was mine and mine alone.

It didn't help that she was better at killing, at murder. Slipping a blade in-between ribs, a dagger to the throat, wet works that stained her hands red, so deeply that she could never wash the stain away. It would be harder for her to leave that behind, to truly step away from all of it. She was afraid she'd fall right back into her old methods, the moment she ran up against something to difficult. It was far easier to kill, and hide a body, than it was to face up to emotions, to feelings, to having to work on something, truly work on it, sweat and labor involved.

Sometimes I think you put too much faith in my ability to do this, but you taught me more than just the fight, and you're still teaching me that, well, maybe more telling me and I'll make the choice what to do with it, the humor in the words was a little dry, she could work on the delivery a little more, but the smile that threatened to widen on her face was hard to keep under wraps, Always did tend to have a mind of my own, huh?

@Bajie