Tiberius froze as Enzo grabbed his arm, muscles tensed as if he might startle and bolt. He watched, tight lipped, as Enzo read the contents of the letter. Yet, anger could only carry him so far. As Enzo’s arms pulled him in, that tight ball of emotion seemed to crystalize and shatter like a strand of molten sugar wicking off a spoon. It had been the only thing holding him up. He staggered into Enzo, groaning inarticulately into his hair and neck.
After a moment, Tiberius sidled away and sat down on the bed, wrinkling the clothes he’d just placed there. Every time he reached for words, the breath died in his throat. He had to look away, at something that didn’t mean anything. Their feet would do, dirty or wet socks on the parquet floor.
“I tried to tell Mal. Tonight.” Likely he had not done a very good job of it. Malachai had merely assured him that a High house brat such as Pavus would be safe regardless of circumstance. Whether the other young man had been trying to be delicate or whether he was simply obvious, Tiberius could not begin to guess. He’d been sitting with the news for almost a week – the letter had been waiting for them when they loaded onto the ship home.
Truth be told, Fulvius Umbra had been a man Tiberius hardly knew at all – even beyond the last two years they’d been away. Fulvius’ life had been consumed by his work in the Magisterium, in being Grandfather’s obedient shadow. Not kind and doting, as Tiberius saw Enzo’s own parents. Not cruel like Malachai’s. What was there to mourn, beyond his own selfish future? It was like tonguing the empty socket left by a pulled tooth. There was hurt, yes, but the oddness of this new bite was more striking. Harder to put out of mind than mere heartbreak.
“I didn’t want to be done.” With Enzo, of course, but also with everything. Playing at soldiers was well and good for spare cousins and bastards and boys that wouldn’t inherit for another forty years if they ever did at all. Hiers, though. They never spent more than two years on Seheron – if their families didn’t ransom them out entirely. “I can’t shake the feeling that if I go home, I’ll never …” Tiberius trailed off, then looked up sharply. His gaze latched on to Enzo’s.
“I could leave. We both could – we don’t want what they’re offering anyway.”
After a moment, Tiberius sidled away and sat down on the bed, wrinkling the clothes he’d just placed there. Every time he reached for words, the breath died in his throat. He had to look away, at something that didn’t mean anything. Their feet would do, dirty or wet socks on the parquet floor.
“I tried to tell Mal. Tonight.” Likely he had not done a very good job of it. Malachai had merely assured him that a High house brat such as Pavus would be safe regardless of circumstance. Whether the other young man had been trying to be delicate or whether he was simply obvious, Tiberius could not begin to guess. He’d been sitting with the news for almost a week – the letter had been waiting for them when they loaded onto the ship home.
Truth be told, Fulvius Umbra had been a man Tiberius hardly knew at all – even beyond the last two years they’d been away. Fulvius’ life had been consumed by his work in the Magisterium, in being Grandfather’s obedient shadow. Not kind and doting, as Tiberius saw Enzo’s own parents. Not cruel like Malachai’s. What was there to mourn, beyond his own selfish future? It was like tonguing the empty socket left by a pulled tooth. There was hurt, yes, but the oddness of this new bite was more striking. Harder to put out of mind than mere heartbreak.
“I didn’t want to be done.” With Enzo, of course, but also with everything. Playing at soldiers was well and good for spare cousins and bastards and boys that wouldn’t inherit for another forty years if they ever did at all. Hiers, though. They never spent more than two years on Seheron – if their families didn’t ransom them out entirely. “I can’t shake the feeling that if I go home, I’ll never …” Tiberius trailed off, then looked up sharply. His gaze latched on to Enzo’s.
“I could leave. We both could – we don’t want what they’re offering anyway.”
02-17-2025, 05:19 PM
