The silence hurt the most. Not that he thought he was undeserving of this punishment, rather he wished that Xochipilli would rage aloud instead of encouraging the intrusive thoughts to cloud his mind. Silence wreaked far more havoc than anger ever would.
When his hands were pulled apart and enveloped in a familiar embrace, Carasson felt his chest warm, letting a small part of his barrier to erode. His hand was limp before he flexed the muscles and returned a steady pressure. He shook his head solemnly, his heart breaking knowing that Chip felt to take the blame for any of this when he was a clear victim this entire time.
Never mind that there were fates far worse than death and this was one of them. His fate was living with the first hand memory of watching the man he loved wither under his control and the woman he loved in the wind all because of him. He'd once had it all and now there was nothing and no one, not really. Because how could he accept Chip and Inala back into his life knowing the truth behind it all.
He swallowed a plug of nerves clogging his windpipe. He could barely look the other man in the eye, least of all accept that he was in any way at fault for what happened. His chin wobbled. All he could think about now was the feeling that gripped his soul when he saw the lifeless form at his feet. While Falon'Din reveled in the victory, Carasson wailed in mourning, trapped and forced to watch the damage done by his hand.
He'd mourned his Keeper.
He wiped frantically at his cheek, riding any tears that managed to escape his measured control.
Carasson swallowed.
Carasson's Anxiety Tells
When his hands were pulled apart and enveloped in a familiar embrace, Carasson felt his chest warm, letting a small part of his barrier to erode. His hand was limp before he flexed the muscles and returned a steady pressure. He shook his head solemnly, his heart breaking knowing that Chip felt to take the blame for any of this when he was a clear victim this entire time.
Well he wanted me dead, so if this is the trade-off, I'll take it.
Never mind that there were fates far worse than death and this was one of them. His fate was living with the first hand memory of watching the man he loved wither under his control and the woman he loved in the wind all because of him. He'd once had it all and now there was nothing and no one, not really. Because how could he accept Chip and Inala back into his life knowing the truth behind it all.
He swallowed a plug of nerves clogging his windpipe. He could barely look the other man in the eye, least of all accept that he was in any way at fault for what happened. His chin wobbled. All he could think about now was the feeling that gripped his soul when he saw the lifeless form at his feet. While Falon'Din reveled in the victory, Carasson wailed in mourning, trapped and forced to watch the damage done by his hand.
He'd mourned his Keeper.
He wiped frantically at his cheek, riding any tears that managed to escape his measured control.
I'm sorry that you....I'm sorry I let this happenThe truth was, he'd planned to leave initially when the blackouts started becoming more frequent. But then they shared that night together, and all of the sudden he couldn't leave because he refused to let go of something he'd been craving for close to twenty years at this point.
Carasson swallowed.
And Inala? Where is she?Recent memories of her were too few for his liking.
Carasson's Anxiety Tells
- excessive swallowing
- hand wringing
- lack of eye contact
- topic change
- the things he doesn't say
06-17-2023, 05:40 PM
