fragile minds

She chuckled a little and shook her head. Saw to his death myself. The way she spoke the words was without feeling. Between Andruil's whisperings and the whisperings of the spirits that tried to cast out Andruil in order to take over, her mind was tired. Still, for whatever reason, she fought. It seemed fighting was all she'd ever done for as long as she could remember. Even now, she was resisting the urge to relax and fold into the Keeper who'd once held her body far more intimately than this.

She closed her eyes and sighed the tiniest bit. ...I'm sorry about your daughter, but you shouldn't lose hope. You're her father, after all. She gave him a gentle nudge and would've even offered him a smile if not for the fact his chin rested atop her head. It was around the same time that she'd made that realization that she started to actually relax. Once she started to relax, she practically melted into him, almost seeming too tired to keep herself upright any longer. Her tears weren't far off.

How did the presence of one man mess up everything she'd ever known for the past twenty years? She'd been looking over her shoulder so long that the possibility of being able to establish roots was practically a foreign concept. She wiped her eyes and sniffled softly. ...what if my being here puts you all in danger, though? I'm... I'm a murderer... She couldn't even divulge the fact she'd killed another person without also divulging the fact she was the hostess to a shard of Andruil. The more paranoid part of her brain wondered if this was a ruse to get his clan secured.

Another part of her also envied the fact he'd managed to become a parent. She wouldn't have children in this life, and it pained her. Silently, she lifted her hand from his and moved it to rest against his face. I've missed you. She whispered the words, not quite sure where they were coming from. Would she have spoken such words to anyone else from their clan that she recognized? Perhaps, but... She tried to force the thought from her mind.

She expelled a quiet breath. ...and I can't allow you or yours to shelter me, Chip. It wouldn't be fair to any of you. Though his words were a comfort and they'd (probably) come from a good and decent place, she couldn't fathom putting any of them in danger. Unless he turned her in, what good would having her around do for any of them? Along with being a murderer, she was also a spirit mage. If she lost control even for a moment...