fragile minds

She turned to look at him almost incredulously. You're proud of me? She was... Baffled... Relieved and baffled but baffled all the same. How did she even respond to that, aside from the usual disbelief and wide-eyed wonder? There's a difference between surviving and sheer brutality. Both of my... victims... were unrecognizable when I was through with them. Her throat tightened and she hastily averted her gaze before her tears could start to fall again.

She didn't know why she wept for those that had meant her harm. All she did know was that she was a threat and that she should probably be on her own, lest she hurt someone else. Surviving shouldn't come at the cost of someone else's life... Who are we to play judge, jury, and executioner? That, of course, was probably rich, coming from a spirit mage. Her life was a comedy of errors, and she was just another fool playing a part. It feels like the end of the world... How did she reconcile with herself the fact she was not only a murderer but had a constant voice in the back of her mind that told her to do horrible, horrible things or even went so far as to condone those horrible, horrible things she'd already done?

She couldn't help but smile the tiniest bit when he hugged her. You know... After all this... My biggest and only regret is that I was never able to have a family of my own. I keep thinking about what could've been and what I was robbed of and... She shrugged the tiniest, little bit. I'm not so sure it was ever in the cards for me. Tonight wasn't the night to tell him about what had transpired all those years ago. Maybe she'd never tell him.

It was her burden to bear, and the time for mourning had passed two decades ago. He had a life of his own now and, presumably, he was happy. After everything she'd been through, she didn't think it'd ever be possible for her to feel right again. She'd been robbed of more than just having a family. She'd also been robbed of her peace of mind. Whether it was because she was a murderer or because she was a mage or even because she was an elf, she'd always be looking over her shoulder... Of course, none of that accounted for what she'd been through while in Tevinter and Orlais. Why she kept fighting when the odds said she should've died was beyond her.

Perhaps, she just liked to suffer. Can you really remove the shard? Her query was nearly inaudible and, for once, she had the faintest spark of hope. Even so, as he mentioned watching the stars, she nodded without saying a word. Sounds like a plan to me. She said softly, her eyes twinkling faintly. Even as the words left her lips, she was getting comfortable, practically curling right into his side.