[Past] One step foward

It had been too long.  A few months, but being inside all the time, presented with one problem or another, and worse!  Being expected to solve it… Maker, it felt like it’d been years.  Ages.  Horrible, horrible ages.  At least Elanna could go out and about — Maker now he was whining.  No one liked a whiner.  He didn’t like a whiner!  So he didn’t really like himself at the moment.  Time has this funny way of distorting, it feels like. Is it like that for you too?  Because I wouldn’t put it past Morrigan to have put some kind of awful spell on me before she left.

Oohh that’d be just like that sneaky witch person!

He glanced over quickly when she mentioned Amaranthine.  Once seen to by Arl Howe… he bet that had been an uncomfortable and awkward stay.  Even if she hadn’t ever stepped foot inside the — no, no, let’s think about something else, Alastair, before those questions come blurting out of your mouth, shall we?  Yes.  Yes, that was a very good idea.

Hopefully nothing too harsh.  He tried not to make it obvious that he was squinting at her.  Elanna… seemed okay.  Like her usual self.  Still beautiful and strong.  Alastair flushed a little, then hastily looked up.  Right.  Oh but her next question was even worse and he almost thought that it’d be a better idea to go back to thinking she was beautiful.  Even if she’d end up punching him or something.  He… well, he fidgeted and reached up to tug nervously at the collar of his jacket.  Shirt.  Both.

The diplomatic answer, he said in case the myriad of people constantly around were listening to him.  Because of course they were.  He was the king and anything he said or did could be repeated or brought up as rumours and gossip or what have you.  He didn’t even know!  Is that I am committed to the rebuilding efforts in Denerim and then to the rest of Ferelden.  Trade and commerce will return in the wake of the Blight.

Then he all but ushered her into one of the sitting rooms, large enough that it wouldn’t be deemed improper… actually Alastair didn’t rightly care at the moment if anyone thought it wasn’t proper… they’d traveled together and stopped a Blight together.  If the rest of the palace didn’t understand that, then he couldn’t help them.  He closed the doors quietly, then leaned back against them, wondering when it was that someone was going to press their ear to it in the hopes of eavesdropping in.  Best make this admission quick then!

The honest answer?  I’m awful.  I hate this.  I… don’t know what I’m doing and everyone expects me to have all the answers and to somehow know how to fix all of their problems.  Didn’t they know that during the fighting, I was just happy to hit things and be hit by them??  That’s what the shield was for!  You were the tactician, not me.  He even went so far as to grumble.  They have me looking at proposals for increasing trade to Antiva.  Zevran is the only one I’ve met so… if they’re not trying to kill me, then I don’t know what to do with them.  He looked at her, voice plaintive.  Could I interest you in a kidnapping plot?  Namely mine? Pretty please?