He may have been a week late, but trying to get that witch off his tail had been a task.
Bessie plodded into the Coterie stables with an equally weary Colt riding above, seeing Kirkwall looming, even at a distance had filled him with some relief. He’d have to mention shit to John Marc, she’d done something to him, but he was clueless as to what. Fucking mages. Things were fucked about enough without having some deranged woman on his trail.
There was only one woman he wanted doing that and he had four more favours to make before he’d be able to set up their next date. This time, the City. He’d take her about Kirkwall, it was the nearest city, right on her doorstep and Mina had never seen it. Collecting his gear, Colt handed Bessie off to the lads, ordering them that she get extra portions for the extra effort of hauling ass to get him clear of Rivain. Slinging his satchel over his shoulder he’d drop by the mess for a plate and quick check in, offering apologies for the tardiness of his return when he interrupted a huddled group of youngsters.
Haulen’s hold up himself up in his cubby, Colt. Dunno what’s got him so sick, won’t talk, just cries a bit.
Sighing a little, Colt dumped his gear with the brats, gesturing with a nod for one of them to run his shit back to his rooms while he grabbed an extra plate. Meandering his way through the tunnels he’d knock, then call out before pushing the door open.
Ho there wee man. Gods, thought I was having a shite day, feel like I’ve been runnin’ a’ over Thedas. Heard you sick, or som’hin’
Little Haulean had been a bit of a grieving wreck, of late. He was mourning his mother, and the thought that he was going to be sent away again. And maybe it was just his imagination, but it felt like Nairn was avoiding him. To be fair, he'd lost all sense of time, and couldn't exactly pinpoint what day it was.
The revelation with Nairn could've happened last night, for all he knew. Or last week. How long *had* it been? Who even knew. But Haulean hadn't been accepting any meals, or visitors. He'd just been sleeping, and occasionally waking up for a good cry.
There was a knock on the door, but the boy didn't budge from his bed, though the voice did make him peek his head of fluffy blonde bedhead out from under the covers. His eyes were puffy and bleary, and he was definitely looking more pale than he already was. The normally sunny boy would ordinarily have tacklepounced Colt by now, and been clinging and cuddling. But all he managed was to look up with those big, sad eyes.
"My mum..." he said hollowly. Not much more needed to be said. Her being sickly was why he'd been sent there. Haulean had enlisted Colt's help to sneak out so he could visit her, more than once. "And... and now..." he gulped, and fresh tears began rolling from those broken eyes. "Now N-Nairn wants to send me away."
The moment Colt saw his face he’d realised he’d opened with a shitty line only to feel worse as the hollow words aired. Nice one, Colt, well done.
Brows rose high, shock, surprise and then folding down into sorrow. Colt hung his head, teeth bit down hard against his lower lip. He knew all too well this kind of pain, it was partly why he’d taken pity on the kid, smuggling him out to visit his Ma. Truth be told he was a little envious he could still visit her, close by as she was. Colt had adored his own.
Letting out a sigh, he turned to put the plates on the side, closing the door behind and resting his back against it. He’d slide down, opening his arms in an effort to get the lad out of bed for a start. C’mere, wee man.
Nobody seemed to know what to do with their broken ball of sunshine. He usually bounced back from just about anything, in record time, and was there with a smile for anyone that needed it. Him being like this was downright unnerving for those that had known him long enough. Many had tried to get him to roll out of bed, or even to talk, since this whole nightmare began, but Haulean had remained an unmoving lump in the bed, other than to see to basic bodily needs. And yet, all it took from Colt was open arms, and a verbal invitation, and the tiny youth was clumsily clamoring out from under his pile of blankets.
Legs did not seem to want to support the petite blonde -no wonder, as he'd been refusing food and drink- so he had to utilize his hands and knees, and shook with the effort. Soon enough, Haulean crawled into Colt's lap and slipped his arms about his middle, burying his face against his neck. This was what he needed, more than anything.
"He doesn't w-want me anymore, C-Colt..." the boy whispered, brokenly, and his whole little body shook with the tears. "Not n-now that... n-now that he's m-my..." Haulean gulped and clung all the tighter. "I was r-right. About... th-the thing. It's h-him. And now he d-doesn't w-want me!"
Even now, Haulean was trying to be careful, because of Nairn's words about there being danger here. But Colt was the one person in whom Haulean had ever confided about 'the thing'; his suspicion (and maybe mingled hope/fear) about his father's identity. So now... in a way, he was losing both parents. After all, even without knowing for sure that there was a blood connection, Nairn had still basically raised him.
Colt grimaced as he watched the kid nearly eat shit, then prepared himself for the full assault of him landing in his lap. The older thief wrapped him up, letting the kid bury in as much as possible, rubbing his back for good measure while listening, hanging on to every word that stammered out of the lad.
The cat was out of the bag now. With his mothers death the truth had come out between the two and at first, Colt didn’t know quite what to say. Nairn was the boss, he’d looked up to him ever since being enrolled into the C at twelve, liked his missus too when she’d been around, but he hadn’t needed a healer as much as the younger, smaller ones. Not lanky Colt.
It a shock, Rabbit. We say things we don’t mean when surprised by som’hin’. he’d begin, expelling a long sigh, tightening his grip as the kid clung more. There had been some suspicion sure, there was a likeness between father and son, but there was never any special treatment between the two that Colt had noticed. Yet, in a way, Nairn had raised the lad even unknowingly, raised them all in a way.
Colt tilted his head some. Reckon, you scared the shit out him, bud. You ain’t gone yet right? So. Seems to me he’s just… well, you know when rabbits eyes go big, right? Fear is all I bet… oh… Naaa, Meg’s nice, she’ll prob sort him straight I bet.
Colt's cuddles were the best cuddles. They had this magical way of making everything better, in Haulean's mind. Make no mistake, Haulean also loved curling up in Nairn's lap when he was allowed to. But while Nairn would quietly and patiently sit, and maybe indulge him by resting a gentle hand or his chin on him (which was hella affectionate, for Nairn), there was nothing quite like the enveloping, squeezing hugs that came with Colt cuddles. And let's face it, Haulean was the cuddliest of cuddlebugs. Physical affection was his bread and butter. He could already feel the pain and darkness ebbing away, just from being wrapped up and held so completely, and the crying that had wracked his petite frame was settling down.
"N-Nairn's not s-scared of anything." he mumbled into Colt's neck, nuzzling absently into it. "...'Cept maybe Meg." Not that Meg was scary, mind. But. The rare times when she gave somebody the Look for doing something royally stupid and life-threatening... whose knees wouldn't turn to jelly? Oh gods... what if Meg didn't like him anymore, now that Nairn was his dad? What if she got mad at Nairn for being his dad? Those were heartbreaking thoughts to entertain. Maybe he ought to tell Nairn to just pretend he wasn't his son, and then things could stay as they were, and Nairn and Meg could stay together and be happy. They deserved to be together and happy. Haulean wouldn't ruin that for the world...
"Colt... do you think... Meg will still like me? I don't wanna mess things up with her and Nairn..." He closed his eyes and scrunched his face. "What'm I gonna do?"
Colt held on, a hand eventually moving to rub the kids back. He didn’t say anything at first, merely letting the weight of his hold ground Haulean, reassure him that at least Colt wasn’t going anywhere and was there. There might have been a grimace at how wet his shirt was getting, but it didn’t matter, he had shit to wash anyways, even if Mina’s scent clung to this one, he had reclaimed his nightshirt from her while leaving behind a fresh one for Mina.
Now that’s silly. Everybody get’s feert. Fear keeps you alive, bud, he’d answer, grin flashing. Ain’t ever seen Meg mad mysel’, but she had reason. Boss kept her out a long time and I ‘memer she was pretty broke up about him. He’d come back from Starkhaven to find the Coterie in chaos, half the members or more missing, presumed dead and only the wizard in charge. It had been a dark time.
Eh? Colt jerked, brows wrinkled in confusion before a laugh broke out. It was a loud clap of sound, the thought of Megara holding such a grudge madness to him. Pfft, Meg ain’t gonna hate you. You did fuck all wrong, kid. This ain’t a mess you made just… the boss ain’t good with his words, expressin’ himsel’ is… well it like pullin’ blood from a stone sometimes. Colt shrugged, he wasn’t sure he understood the man well, but he knew enough he cared deeply about Meg. She’s the only one I ever seen him light up around. It’s not some’hin’ you need to, or can, fix. He gave an extra squeeze and then sighed, back sinking into the door. That some’hin’ he has to do.
The tears had subsided, for the most part, and Haulean just felt drained... though the cuddles were helping with that, too. Haulean thrived off of affection like many plants thrived off of sunlight. Well. And honestly, Colt's presence overall was very comforting. And his voice. Who wouldn't feel better, hearing it? Anyway. Haulean listened to Colt's reasoning, finding it hard to argue or disagree with the logic there, even though his anxious inner thoughts tried to tell him that everything was ruined now, and no one wanted him. Idly, one hand lifted fingers to search for the cut at the hollow of his throat. The one he'd made, himself. If Nairn really hadn't wanted him... maybe he wouldn't have taken the dagger away?
Colt's laughter startled Haulean for a moment, and he looked up at him with wide eyes, blinking. Was it really so ludicrous? The thought of Meg not liking him anymore? Apparently. Haulean blushed beneath is freckles, and felt maybe a little silly having thought she'd hate him. But... still. It was going to be strange. Especially... if... "Nairn said... Well. First he said I was going to Arlathan. Then... then he said I was gonna go live with Meg and Ruth." Haulean had technically met Ruth in passing, a few times. But didn't really know him. That was one more person to be anxious about possibly hating him... But he tried not to think about it, in that moment. Much.
"Maybe Nairn could... just pretend I'm not his. And things could stay like they always have? Then nobody gets hurt, and I don't have to leave?" Yeah it sounded stupid out loud. But Haulean was desperate to keep things the same. He'd already had one gigantic, heartbreaking change in his life. He wasn't sure how many more his heart and mind could take, before breaking beyond repair. He'd always been fragile... and some part of his mind had always remained a bit childlike, despite his best efforts to grow up. He was eighteen, now. But he didn't want anything to change... Change was frightening and disruptive. Okay maybe sometimes it turned out alright. But not always. And this was the sort of change that felt like it would be for the worse.
"I don't want to go to Arlathan and learn a trade. I don't want him to wipe my debt and send me off. I want to stay here and keep things the same. I won't know anyone... I... I don't want to be alone, Colt... I'll die. Inside, and then out." He felt like he'd wither away from sadness. He'd seen it happen to people, before. And if anyone could die of loneliness, it would be him. Being around others, especially loved ones, gave him life. Maybe that was one of the reasons he was so good with the younger kids in the Coterie. He was always ready to play with the others like there wasn't another care in the world, teach anything that was in his power to teach, and then plop down in a cuddle puddle when all was said and done. And if he left... he wouldn't have any of that, with anyone.
Colt liked to think that life, and some people, were like the current. Rivers started as a trickle, had slow seeping points and then the sweeping rapids, dips, pools and everything in between till it reached the sea. Haulean’s Ma had just joined the rest, swirling and travelling the endless ocean. Him though, well, he was a rock. It was the only place to be when those around him were weathering a storm.
He smiled down at the lad, nodding in reassurance that the Missus would be fine. A wrinkle appeared as he made mention of Ruth and Colt wouldn’t stop the rolling of his eyes, the rivalry between the two still lingering over their shared Mina connection. But… Meg’s not in Arlathan right now, she, and I suppose Ruth too, are dossin’ at the bo- Nairn’s place. Or they were, just got back mind. A sly smirk drew across his lips, there had been a rumour… something about Meg’s house being reduced to toothpicks? He’d ask around, discreetly of course, Danny would know.
Snickering at the lads idea, Colt shook his head. Na, na, bud. Afraid the cat’s out the bag now, well, between you and him. I won’t be saying shit. Your Da will have my fingers. Speaking of fingers, Colt sighed, a more sober tone being soon offered, along with some advice. Nothin’ wrang wi’ a trade. I had to learn how to put locks together before figuring out how to open them all sweet like. Trade might suit you. He’d shrug, understanding that the Coterie life wasn’t for everyone, there were other things and better ways of making a living, ones that didn't risk you getting a belly full of steel.
With all of his emotional upheaval, the petite youth almost missed the roll of Colt's eyes. He'd just happened to glance up in time, and scrunched his face in confusion. "Wh-what's that face?" he stammered. Was Ruth not someone he should be around? Maybe they wouldn't like Haulean... Ugh so many unknowns in this whole messed up situation. And then Colt was saying how Meg wasn't in Arlathan but at Nairn's home.
"Maybe that's why he couldn't make up his mind?" the boy offered, snuggling into the older male more. "I was s'posed to move to the guest room. But I didn't. Cos it seemed like a bad idea. Plus I just didn't wanna move... and... and if I went there, he could send me away before I could even say goodbye to anybody. Like you. 'N Yoon." His friend wasn't yet back from his latest outing. Gods it'd break something in Haulean to never see either of his dearest friends again.
Haulean sighed heavily, when Colt reasoned that there was no pretending. He was right... there wasn't any taking it back. Even if he had the heart to burn his mother's letters, which he didn't, they would always know. Still. He could still pitch the idea to Nairn, if he ever spoke to him again. It felt like it'd been days. Maybe it hadn't? What was time, anymore? He'd been holed up in the dark like a potato, pretty much since Nairn had left. It could've only been hours, who knew?
The mention of fingers prompted Haulean to shift a bit in Colt's lap and idly just... start toying with and examining said fingers like he'd often done when younger. He was always fascinated by how much larger Colt's hands were, than his own. In any case, it was distracting him from his hurt and his tears for the moment; hooray for being tactile and distractible. "Maybe you could teach me?" he mumbled, splaying his much smaller hand against Colt's, and cocking his head absently. "How to p-put 'em together?"
He'd been taught a little lockpicking, obviously, but. Only the basics. His main skills were pickpocketing, sleight of hand, and being generally sneaky and stealthy; that sort of thing. And he was good at it. It was the only reason he'd managed to pull Nairn's dagger out of nowhere, during their last encounter. Speaking of. "I think N-Nairn's gonna be m-mad at me awhile." he mumbled, and blushed. "I did a stupid."
Nothin’, the healer and I just… he’s a decent medic, can’t fault him professionally, but he’s a shithead with bad habits. He’d leave out the part where the rat bastard had fucked his girl on occasion, because technically Mina wasn’t Colt’s girl. Not yet. Got our eyes on the same girl don’t help me like him anymore either, but he’s the Boss’s go to, so he can’t be all bad. Not that Ruth would hide behind Nairn, Colt had seen the elf brawl like the rest of the lads when pushed, the problem was the added bonus of magic and ego when mixed with whatever he was on, complicated matters. Colt didn’t fully trust him, rightfully so though he wouldn’t know why until later.
Maybe, reckon he’s got a lot on his plate this minute, but he’ll get to speaking to you soon enough. You tell him just what you told me. He ain’t gonna listen if you don’t tell him, you old enough now to decide. There wasn’t always a choice, but under Nairn’s leadership their losses had been fewer, better and far more lucrative jobs had come their way since the best suited were sent. Nairn kept them sharp, well rounded, but paid attention to their strengths.
Watching him shift and start eyeing, comparing their hands, caused Colt to chuckle, Sure, why not? Pretty sure I’ve a few practice ones kickin’ about. You’ve quick hands sure, but it’s not about being quick, it’s also about the tools, how they feel. There was no harm in letting him have a go, better if he took to it, but Colt was in no position to take an apprentice, nor was he sure the boss would go for it either. Maybe Meg would be able to get him something legal and straight, keep his nose clean instead? It wasn’t in Colt’s hand to decide, even if it frustrated him a little. He’d cleared his debt with Nairn some years ago, but stayed on like most of the orphans did. It was home.
His grin turned lopsided, Oh aye? Catch you with your pants down did he? Or… noting the blush, Colt’s brows rose, What you do, cry all over his accounts? I’m pretty sure he does that, don’t feel bad about it. He’d joke, nudging the kids shoulder. Much as I like the floor, I’ve been on the back of a horse for miles and my ass was already numb as fuck. Think we could stand a bit, and you take a bite or two? Preferably before your old man wonders if we made you sick or something.
Haulean was able to let out the smallest of snorts when Colt said his choice words about the healer. Though he made no comment about them apparently liking the same girl. That was rough... and Haulean could... kinda relate. But he didn't have it in him to be jealous or disliking of the person that was making his first crush happy. So that was that.
When it came to discussing things with his father, though, the boy just shrugged. He wasn't sure Nairn would listen, this time. He hadn't wanted to listen in the moment... so why would he, now? He didn't want him anymore. At least, that's how it felt. And Haulean didn't necessarily blame him, but it still hurt. Especially when it would result in him losing all of his family at once.
The boy continued to compare and play with Colt's hands and fingers, needing the bit of contact and distraction as they talked further. "Pickin' pockets isn't always about quick, either. Gotta be steady 'n delicate so they don't know you did it. Specially if you're puttin' stuff back." Haulean was notorious for leaving snacks or things in people's pockets. He'd been used more than a few times to pass messages to people on the sly.
As for what he'd done... Haulean blushed deeper at the joking implications of what he could've done. but his answering was interrupted by the request to stand. The much smaller male clamored to his feet and braced himself to help Cole up too. "I uh... I kinda... swiped his knife 'n... p-pulled it on myself." he mumbled, and self-consciously brushed his fingers over the cut at the hollow of his throat. "When he... said he'd send me away." In retrospect, he was damn lucky the thing hadn't been coated in poison.
It was all too obvious when Colt had just come back from a Mina date. The only times Colt was serious was during a job at hand, the rest of it he was spouting that goofy grin, full and wide, with a whistled or gently sung tune following him. He’d been with a few girls, one or two who’d taken him for a foul, but after meeting Mina he’d only flirt if need be, and only for the job.
The lack of response caused his head to shake, expelling a sigh. You be honest. Best way to deal with the boss is just be straight. He’ll respect it. Nairn’s word carried weight and while he could be a hard ass bastard, he was fair, he paid well and put a roof over folks who needed it. It didn’t surprise Colt the loyalty folks had, but also a generous helping of fear along with it, Nairn hadn’t become boss without blood being paid.
Exactly, see? Might be you’re a locksmith, or a tinkerer, Colt chuckled, letting the kid play with his inked hands. Not that I mind a sweetie or two, but a coin goes a lot further. His voice teasing. Back on his feet he stretched out with a groan and a long sigh, hand left scratching the back of his neck while Haulean explained. Any of the usual jovial Colt fell away instantly. You did what?
A cold dread coiled in his gut, eyes widening and then blinking rapidly to dispel the rising fear. He'd obviously not seen it though but, Colt couldn't let it pass, voice growing quiet, but strained. Why the fuck would you do something stupid like that?
The advice to be straight with Nairn made the boy shrug hopelessly. "I tried. He told me not to beg." But Colt was still right. Maybe trying with less tears would help. Tears made Nairn uncomfortable, but sometimes they couldn't be helped. In any case, wouldn't know till he tried.
Soon enough they were on their feet, and Haulean was nodding to Colt's comments about his future potential, but he wasn't wholly invested in that part of the conversation right now. His brain was all full of worry. Though he'd very much like to learn the trade from Colt. he'd taught him plenty of other things, and this was something special. Especially cos, as far as the wee blonde was concerned, Colt was the best.
Then came Haulean's confession... and all light seemed to die out of Colt's expression. Dread chilled his own belly like ice, and the boy started to shake, wondering just how mad Colt was going to be with him... he couldn't bear losing his friend because he'd been stupid.
Haulean's stormy-hued eyes began to well up with fresh tears, and he choked down a gulp at Colt's questions. Much as he wanted to retract his confession and play it off, he never could tell so much as a mild fib to Colt. "I... b-because... he was talkin' about sendin' me away for good, no matter what I said. So... I told him... if he was gonna do that, he may as well kill me. Cos I'd die anyway, bein' all alone. But it's true, Colt... I would die. Inside, and then... then the rest of me. My heart would break too bad to be fixed."
Colt gave him another knowing look. Yeah. You don’t. So next time you go in there, or he comes up to you, you stand your ground and tell him you’re stayin’. It might not work, but Colt was confident that seeing the lad stand up, and without the words trembling too much, Nairn could be swayed into giving him a chance.
It was a shock to hear Haulean say he’d used his own life to bargain. Foolish. Short-sighted. But Colt understood the where it came from, desperation. He hadn’t ever been quite in the same situation before - Not yet, anyway - but he’d let his anger and rage get the better of him during one. He remembered his mother’s face when she looked at him. Fear, and Colt hadn’t snapped that badly since.
Studying his face, Colt could only sigh heavily once finding the truth in it. The kid was an open book in this state. Kid. You know better than most, this is probably a knee-jerk reaction from him. ‘Member all the aggro over his Missus, Meg? Change came slowly, painstakingly in Nairn’s case. And don’t say bullshit about dying. You think he’d just send you off randomly. Na. You know the boss. He always has a plan to where folks fit, where they best at, but he takes your feeling into the mix. Part of it might have been a sudden quickly rushed decision on Nairn’s part, but maybe he’d also been looking to gauge a reaction? Colt couldn’t comment on the Boss’s true intentions, but he’d help dust the kid off and cheer him on for when round two came.
There was a sudden knock at the door and a half-hearted and irritated voice called out from the other side. ”Haulean?... Yes this is the right door…. Haulean Oruven?
Colt groaned, muttering under his breath, Of course he sent the fuckin’ healer… Glancing to the lad, the locksmith’s brows shrugged. Doors open, Ruth.
