I am told you're recovering at your father's manse currently, which I would argue is probably more comfortable for you at the moment than this stuffy town home. Annie and I are spending time annoying Malik, without your guidance he's become rather big for his britches. How did you ever put up with him for this many years? He's unsufferably cheerful with the Salvo woman around.
I will not press for how you are, how you are feeling, I don't think I'd want to know with being barred entry at the house (Your father is insufferable too, have I ever told you that?). I'm trying to negotiate visits, but I feel I will probably fail on that front. As difficult as it is to think, I know you are in good hands, with people you know and love around you.
Write to me, my darling wife, anything you want to talk about, until I can see you again, and we can figure all this out together.
Today Annie and I cleaned up the garden, with the fall months moving in, we thought it was best to transition some of the summertime crops over to autumnal fare. We put pumpkins, and squash in the ground today, and tomorrow we'll do sprouts. Maybe, our toddler is want to play in the dirt at all hours.
Turned away at the door, of course, Im tempted to throw stones at your father's windows until I see your face. Much like a bad romance novel, even if we know neither of us is overly fond of them, but, I could be, now that I've had time to think on it a little. I will write and try to visit again tomorrow, unless you tell me otherwise.
Write to me, dearest, I miss your voice, even if I must try and conjure it in my mind, and read it off paper.
Malik has threatened me with bodily harm if I keep sending these every day, that and he said he would take my remaining genetalia in recompense if I didn't leave your poor father's windows alone, alas, I am not a very calm, nor rational person when it comes to you, my love. I figured you'd rather me preserve bodily features, than continue to try and find a fleeting glimpse of you.
So I suppose that I shall have to temper myself and send only a weekly update for now. Was this how you felt when I was imprisoned, helpless and desperate for word? I counted the days by making marks on the wall with, at first, my nails, eventually a stone. Neat, individual lines once I wore myself out of the urge to try and find a way to escape. There is no escape from that prison, it's on my mind, as I have a meeting with the Archon as soon as he and Malik return from some trip, to speak on the conditions of prisoners and their civil and human rights. You did that, my love. You made him listen, so I'll do my best to represent you honorably in your absence.
Punpkins, squash, sprouts carrots, and beets have all been planted now. Annie and I will be putting the reddish and cabbage in the ground this coming week, and I've procured an apple tree, and a cheery tree to place along the edge of the fence. Malik and I discussed taking the fence between the town houses down and combining the two yards. He had a better tree for a swing for Annie, and it would let us grow more for our meals, provided we shared the bounty, honestly you helped Malik buy that house with our money so I wasn't about to tell him he couldn't have a couple vegetables now and then. Should I abandon the townhouse to him and instead build us a small cottage on the main Tilani grounds? I've thought about that the past few nights, if being in the country might be more comfortable for us or not.
Restrained and Annoyed at your Brother as always, Czora
Someone else in the manse writes for me. I don't sit still, these days.
I'm glad you've stopped coming, knocking, shouting. It's distracting, and when I have too much time to think, things get worse. Besides, visiting, you'd not catch a glimpse. The windows are spelled.
The garden sounds very nice. No, I don't want to move to your family home. I like the townhome, I like my tree in the garden. So unless you can bring my tree, I won't move to another home.
The oak tree? I had the oak removed when I had the garden fence removed. I'm sorry, I hadn't anticipated you'd want that tree kept around. I can plant you a new one, but it may take a few years to be as tall as that one was again. The cherry and plum are still where they've been all along.
The plants are in full bloom, and we've harvested what we could of what would grow thus far. I don't expect a large enough harvest to be meaningful, I don't have your touch with the plants. Annie is starting to talk more. I've let Malik take her for now. He's a more stable placement in her life at the moment. I have my first public appearance since you've gone into seclusion.
Wish I had you on my arm instead of having to face them all alone.
I've not attacked anyone with magic in a exactly seventeen days. That probably isn't what you were hoping to hear, but it's progress.
I hope you enjoy your outing! It should be fun. I'm glad that my brother is such a great help to you and our daughter, and I'm sorry that my seclusion has affected you so negatively.
I think, if you send me plant trimmings, I could grow some here, too.
Did you know I like to draw? I didn't. At first, Papa wouldn't let me hold a quill, or a pen, because I tried to stab a servant... but now I'm allowed to write my own letters and draw with more substantial utensils than chalk and charcoal. I think you'll like this drawing, though. It's one of my earlier ones.
Will you tell me about your event? I'm allowed out in father's gardens, now. I can roam the property, a bit more freely.
With Care and Apologies, — E
A charcoal drawing of Kaczor and Annie is attached, delicately hand-crafted.
The letter arrives with a crate of carefully packed seedlings, saplings, and cuttings of the various plants that had been grown at the townhouse. A second envelope with Malik's careful, precise handwriting gives an exact status report of Annie's days over the past week, mainly her new vocabulary, eating likes and dislikes, and musical aptitude. There is no personal letter from the man himself.
Dearest,
I'm proud of you, for honing your skills in magic, seventeen days is a good amount of time to not accidentally hurt someone. It's the failing of all of those around you for not recognizing the magic sooner, maybe we could have prevented what occurred somehow had any of us actually.. noticed.
I've not seen Annie, nor Malik for over a week now, so I've no updates on what they're doing. I'll send someone over to get Malik to write you a letter. I'm sending a box of cuttings from all the plants currently in the greenhouse, as well as the sapling. Keep drawing, use it as a medium to clear out what's got you mad, or angry, or happy, or sad, save all of them and when you decide to come home you can show me all of them, and send as many as you like in the mean time. I'll conserve them properly here at the house for you.
The event was for charity, rebuilding some of the businesses that were effected by the barrier falling. Enough money was raised for at least three businesses to rebuild completely and restaff with slaves as appropriate. Who knows, maybe one of them will get crazy and hire paid workers, but I'm not holding my breath on that. I've turned down invitations to the next three, I don't feel up to them right now.
I hope the gardens there remain tranquil and healing, it sounds like you're doing so much better there, I'm glad.
I don't... father says that my magic must have been underdeveloped, and it fit into the hum of magic being constantly used around us. Like a background noise.
Stop blaming yourself. It isn't good for you. Are you spending time with anyone, or do you sit in our house with the servants? Take better care of yourself.
Don't make me send my father to check on you.
Papa's mad at me, too, though. And I know Malik is, or he'd write to me. It's okay, to be mad at me. And I'd rather know your real emotions than whatever this fake surface-level bullshit you're sending me is.
You should go stay with your parents, if you're not raising Annie. I told you before. A change of scenery might be helpful for you.
My days are very... routine-oriented. Father is going to let me work as his assistant, as soon as I learn to successfully block other peoples emotions. I don't know when I'll be ready to come home, but... I'll let you know when I'm able to work again.
Maybe, we can go to a gala together, then. Even if I'd have to go back home with father at the end of it.
Thank you for the oak sapling. I hope you planted one in the gardens, again.
I. I want to be strong for you, Ella, but I'm so hurt right now. It's not about my hurt though, which is why I tried being cheerful, and failed, and then.. I made a mess of everything, as per normal. It's about being a strong enough shoulder for you, so it never comes to this again. Whatever it takes. And I will blame myself, like I blame the tree as your murder accomplice. It's my fault I didn't pay better attention and notice things sooner. If I had been a better wife to you, I would have noticed. I should have noticed. I will carry that guilt with me for the rest of my life, no matter how many times you try and absolve me of it.
My parents are busy with their own lives, like normal, they don't have time to coddle me like I'd want to be coddled at the moment, so Sari has been doing what she does best, and coddling me like the mother I always wanted. She made me come downstairs and sit in the garden for a while as she shoved food at me. I'm ashamed to admit I let myself go for a few days there, I've got to shave soon, I have the starting of a beard going on right now. We'll have to give Malik that house for real, when we can both sign the paper work over into his name fully. He took care of Annie while I wallowed in my sadness and anger. He took care of so much so I could take time to have a tiny, miniscule break down.
The townhouse is empty right now, I sent Benson and Sari back to the main house to get some of my art conservation tools, I've been trying to get myself prepared to take care of your drawings and paintings appropriately, like I've done for other artists before, I don't have a creative bone in my body, but I know how to preserve the works properly, that I can do.
A date, like ... if we had done this normally. Home by 11 PM and an awkward kiss on the front porch before Mal appears in the doorway clearing his throat and glaring at me the entire time? I think I'd like that, if you'd want to try that. I love you, Ella. Maker help me, but I do, still, and I made a vow to you before we wed that I'd take care of you no matter what, so know that I will honor that, no matter what, but.. Us. I want Us. I'll always choose Us over any alternative. So if there's still room for Us, I want it.
I put it's pair on the new boundary of the garden area, so it won't block the main garden's light, the sapling. And Malik has a better, stronger maple on his side of the property line that we'll hang Annie's swing from, like we had planned for that oak. It's not the tree we had plans for, but it could be the new one we center our future around.
I don't want you to be strong for me. You don't know the real me. If you did, you would be laughing, right now, shouting from the rooftops that I'm an idiot. That's what my big brother wants to do, and if he hasn't been doing that, then it's because he wants to do it in my face.
The tree wasn't my accomplice. I failed at my own death. Perhaps hiring an outside hand would have worked better? Guess we'll never know.
Stop blaming yourself. If you want to blame yourself for anything, blame yourself for the lack of care that you take in this time apart. There's no guilt for you here.
I hope, by the time this letter reaches you, Sari and Benson have returned home. But just in case they have not, I'll send a second letter to Malik. I want someone to check on you, after you've read this.
You and I are over. I'll send papers. We married under false pretenses.
If we're going to start over, we're going to start over from the very beginning. Annie, of course, complicates that. But I doubt she knows who I am, at the moment.
But yes. A date, with my overly protective father watching from an upstairs window, until he decides we've kissed for too long and he has to interrupt us for my reputation.
I... don't know that I loved you, I've learned that so much of the people around me have muddled who I am. But I do care about you, and I'd like the chance to... learn to love you.
And I think that you need to learn who you are without me. It isn't healthy, to put everything on my shoulders. If this entails taking new lovers, until I'm able to go on that date with you, you have my blessing.
Do what you need to do. But stop putting me on this pedestal.
If you'd prefer not to move forward with my terms, that's okay. Just send the divorce papers to my father's office, signed. Don't make Malik come to collect them.
The envelope arrives, several days later, with the divorce agreement torn into tiny pieces, and a single sheet of paper with the word, NO, with an entirely too Kaczor flourished underline drawn under it several times.
If Malik is sent to investigate the townhouse, it's empty, and signs of the Tilani heir taking residence elsewhere aren't found. Reports from Benson and Sari are that Kaczor went "out" and never returned home.
Either Kaczor has left the country, or she's still in that townhouse.
I hope you're well. I've had no luck, finding out where you are to re-deliver the divorce papers. Father says if you don't respond soon, he'll annull it for me.
I don't want our marriage to be one of lies. And everything you know about me is a lie, whether you want to believe that or not.
