Absolutely Wankered

Surprisingly, she had woken up without a headache, but the rest of her? Ugh, Aoife felt as though her stomach was about to rebel, in need of something dry, preferably greasy and fattening to begin facing the day. Sebastian had mentioned introducing her to people, yet the pale complexion and unrelenting nausea would not be a good look.

[color=#c14700]You can heal yourself, not that I should remind you. Watching you suffer is amusing. [/color]

[color=#0074d9]I’m glad my resistance to using magic for every slight inconvenience is amusing to you. [/color]

[color=#c14700]Many things amuse me about you, little mage. [/color]

Brushing the demon out of her mind, Aoife readied herself to head out. As promised, her. Her.. her friend had someone, or himself, leave out things for her. Fine quality cloth, cut modestly was pulled on, the tunic tucked into the waist of the training breeches. A dark blue, sleeveless half-robe was pulled over, secured with a belt across.

Closing the door behind her, Aoife ambled slowly down the corridor with Khali leading the way. She was more than confident the mabari had found the servants eating hall, only confirmed as the telltale sounds of them filtered through an agar door.

Rumors. Curious rumors. Amusing at the very least. 

The Champion of Kirkwall was ironed and freed in the very same night. Made satin slippered courtier overnight. Almost too opportunistic to be authentic. It certainly wouldn't be the first time hysteric stunts were pulled in the name of stirring the pot. As if gossip was the currency of their kingdom and not coin. He knew a fair few who might find themselves exorbitantly wealthy were that the case. Knew this because, once upon a time, that used to be his trade. Salacious secrets obtained by any depraved way possible. A habit that had somewhat morphed over the years but that was never truly lost. 

The best example of his masochistic motivations, was his official employment by the Crown. A post he wore with little pride, though he quite delighted in some of his duties when they suited his hedonistic moods. Yes it was certainly curious on his part, especially considering the transient nature of his true identity. Within the city walls he was Sterling and would remain so discounting insistence other wise. Quite outside his better judgement he'd acquired four incredibly important people all dependent on his being Ronan Sterling, executioner of Starkhaven. 

All of this to say that he could be made to understand someone like The Champion, satin slippered or otherwise. 

He was polishing off a tough heel of bread when he spotted a marbari lead figure looking all too out of place. The Maker had a sense of humor it would seem. Because there was no doubt to him. That was her, noticeably without satin slippers, though no less fine in her dress. A wry smirk found his lips as he pushed quickly from the wall he'd leaned against and quickly fell into step beside her. And how did you find your accommodations? Not too dank and lonely I hope? Though the wary expression she wore suggested other. Maybe she had spent the night in the cells and he'd simply been mistaken as to the timeline.

If the rumour of her being satin slippered ever reached Aoife, the originator of it would find themselves wishing for the Nightmare. It wasn’t her reputation she cared about but that of her ... friends. It didn’t do his workload any favours if he was fending off frivolous rumours at her expense. War was in the air. In any case, Leaf was more than convinced she’d walk barefoot through the Frostbacks before anyone got her into a satin pair of shoes.

With Khali trotting ahead, Aoife strode into the servants hall as if she belonged there. The hustle and atmosphere slightly shifted as she crossed the floor though she remained unfazed by the ripple of quiet conversations her presence ignited. What she hadn’t expected was the easy and bold approach of one of them. Leaf’s cadence slowed as he spoke, blue hues glancing at him side on as a brow steadily rose.

[color=#0074d9]“My room was… satisfactory, yes,”[/color] she returned, dipping her head in thanks. She tried to ignore the second question, shifting her eyes forward. Leaf didn’t want to currently think on the ‘lonely’ part. Instead she smirked. [color=#0074d9]“With Khali always with me, I’m never alone.”[/color] Unless she abandoned her for the Prince of course, but that was neither here nor there. Approaching the buffet, Aoife took a plate eyes searching for the greasiest piece of bacon available. [color=#0074d9]“But no doubt I’m causing a bit of stir, so I’ll put your wagging tongue to rest.”[/color] Aoife fixed him with a deadpan look. [color=#0074d9]“I’m here to make sure Antiva doesn’t kill you all, or try to kill your Prince, satisfied Sunshine?” [/color]

She doubted it, but Leaf still flashed him a smile before returning to filling her plate.

It was hard to pinpoint exactly what he expected from the Champion of Kirkwall herself, though the reality was more or less consistent. Her fine features certainly weren't the most alluring thing about her as her innate swagger carried much of her charm on its shoulders. At the very least she could appreciate (or at the very least play along with) a wry sense of humor, if his off hand comment could even be called that. 

His smile turned peevish as he considered her answer. She was sharp, that much he expected.  He followed the pair towards the layout of food, snagging a handful of fatty bacon. Our hero once again. Will you wear a crown this time? He quickly followed his words with a jagged bite of bacon, before holding out a strip for the mabari just to see  if he could smother their Maker-sent champion with any more irritation. 

What's in it for you I wonder? The other wagging tongues are expecting a full report

[font=Arial, serif][color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“Not a Hero,” [/font][/color]was snapped back without hesitation, but the venom which had filled them had long worn out. Hero implied she’d sought out the danger when in fact it always landed outside her doorstep, like your best gear being shat on by a pigeon on a clear day. [/font]

[font=Arial, serif][color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“And I don’t suit crowns.”[/font][/color] Eyes narrowed shifting irritably, but the mage shook her head. [color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“Part of the reason I didn’t want the Kirkwall gig.”[/font][/color] She eyed him while speaking, dividing her attention between him and the selection of food. [/font]

[font=Arial, serif]Khali indeed came close by, sniffing at the bacon before huffing through her muzzle. Aoife would sigh and the hound would snap the bacon clean out of Ronan’s hand. A grunt was all the appreciation he’d receive from the warbeast before she’d wander off and find her mistress a suitable seat. [/font]

[font=Arial, serif][color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“Oh I dunno… maybe it’s because I don’t want everything reeking of fish or leather?”[/font][/color] She shrugged.[color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif] “I’ve no quarrel with the regular Antivan, just those who want to kill my friend and the Marches best chance of surviving this madness.” [/font][/color][/font]

[font=Arial, serif][color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“Why?”[/font][/color] now he had her full attention, those azure eyes narrowingly slightly.[color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif] “What’s in it for you, Sunshine?”[/font][/color][/font]

The reluctant hero, but a hero nevertheless. Though it could also be argued the term was relative. In this iteration it seemed curiously close to a derogatory slur considering her retort. Oh yes. Yes. He liked this one. Not that he expected the Champion of Kirkwall to be a wilting wallflower just that she looked like she did suit crowns and she was simply in denial. Fixed with the same annoyingly slick sneer, he tilted his head as if in consideration of her legitimacy. So what you're saying is that you get what you want in the end. He bit down on the inside of his cheek as his eyes wrinkled with mirth. No hero worship, no crowns, but woe be the one who forgets you snuck in at the last minute to save our sorry hides. When Khali snatched the bacon, Ronan was able to get a quick scratch behind her ears before she trotted off triumphantly. 

Nothing past imparting deep adulation on my favorite her- champion. Would you sign my ass cheek if I promised to never speak of it again? Yes. He was well aware of her capabilities as a mage as he was aware of the rest of the mages he encountered. She could curse him into the Fade and back and he would probably ask for another go just for the sheer weight a story like that would claim. 

He turned slightly, reaching in front of her to grab an apple off a pile of other fruits. But speaking of timely arrivals, what were you in for? Because the rumors are boundless. He bit into the apple loudly.

[font=Arial, serif]One didn’t become Champion by being a wallflower. Anyone else might have thought Aoife squaring up against the Arishok was suicide, and at the time the same thought had echoed in her mind, but determination and the pack of people she cared about on the front line? She’d do anything for her family and friends. People did stupid shit for the ones they loved. Hers had just happened to interweave itself into devolving levels of bullshittery. [/font]

[font=Arial, serif]His comment caused her to blink, get what you want, what a hilarious concept. When the fuck had she ever gotten that? Snorting, Aoife laughed, slowly falling into a full bellied laugh before eventually she’d reassert some control over herself. [color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“Sorry, but if that held any truth, I might not even be here right now.”[/font][/color] Cleaning up after people’s messes, including her own bad calls on a few occasions.. what she wanted didn’t matter. What mattered was what was right. Narrowing her eyes, Leaf continued coldly.[color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif] “Easy for someone who doesn’t know the details to say that. I’ve been… busy elsewhere.” [/font][/color][/font]

[font=Arial, serif]He was bold, she had to give him that. She wasn’t, however, in the mood to entertain the teasing bullshit. [color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“Na, I can’t sign that. Then it might be worth something.”[/font][/color] Her plate now full, toast, bacon, a sausage, Leaf picked up a tankard, examining the state of it briefly. [color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“...What does one have to do for coffee?”[/font][/color] she mused, attention again caught by the overly chatty imp. Reminded of her temporary incarceration, her lips pursed in thought, a grin eventually making it’s way across her face. [/font]

[color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“I… have to say I can’t actually remember the reason. Your homebrew is quite easy to put away, may have addled my brain a little.”[/font][/color]

No? His brow arched, a ghost of a smirk as he chewed what was left of the bacon. Could've fooled me. He muttered none too softly. He was never one to hide his opinion though it certainly flew in the face of career choice wherein secrets were king. Secrets, musings left to the imaginations of the over eager, that was his trade. He fed on gossip much like a scavenger, taking bites where he could and leaving the rest for the bigger animals. That was the game he played and in these many years it had certainly treated him well. Details, truth....you should know none of that matters once it's unleashed to the masses. Surely you understand how creative some can be and how people will believe just about anything if you say it with conviction. He stared at her with a conviction of his own, challenging the Champion boldly however ill advised. 

Who was the cat and who was the mouse? Not that it really mattered, he was having far too much fun either way. 

It's worth enough already, don't you worry. As if she had expressed concern in the first place. He waved her over casually to where a carafe of caffeinated sludge sat with the other aromatic beverages. They just have to entertain me is all He winked. Keeper of the Coffee. He liked the way that sounded.  Though because he was feeling arbitrary, he poured himself a helping of black tea into the tankard he kept hitched to his belt, apple pinned firmly between his teeth. 

Even better, leaves room for interpretation. He said gleefully. As they neared the end of the table where the majority of the food was kept, he deferred to her lead, taking the apple from his mouth as he paced backward so he could face her and move simultaneously. So why are you really here Champion Hawke? He pressed because he was genuinely curious despite his apathetic teasing.

Aoife’s head shook, the laughter eventually dying away. [color=#0074d9]“No.”[/color] She’d never sought any form of power but that to protect the people she cared about. It just so happened shit worked out the way it did, sometimes for the good, others… well, Leaf tried her best not to repeat mistakes. Still, her absence in recent years would garner some curiosity. It was just a shame the truth was so dull. Fondness slipped into her smile, [color=#0074d9]“Well, I’m sure Varric will write about it eventually. Most, if not at least half of it might be true.”[/color] Even when she overheard the dwarf share the tales of their adventured there were always parts exaggerated, underplayed or glossed over for some reason or another. When asked, she never answered. Diverting any and all to her dwarven friend.

Chuckling a little, Aoife seemed to ignore his challenge with a slight roll of her eyes.[color=#0074d9] “Well, aren’t you fortunate that someone finds worth in it, mm? I wish them luck.”[/color] The coffee located she began pouring herself a cup. [color=#0074d9]“Seems you are easily entertained then, if that is all it takes. Explains much.”[/color] Despite knowing it was likely to prolong this conversation she couldn’t help the casual dig.

His amusement over her brush with the constabulary brought a stoicness into her face. Not exactly the first impression she had in mind, but here she was. [color=#0074d9]“I’m sure whatever you come up with, will be more fantastical than what actually happened,  but then I’m used to people spreading bullshit about me.”[/color] Placing her breakfast down, Leaf slid into her seat. A gesture of a finger and the spoon within the mug of coffee began to slowly rotate, stirring the brown liquid a few turns before stilling entirely.

She picked up a piece of bacon and began chewing.[color=#0074d9] “Questions already been answered, Sunshine. Ask something else, or go away.” [/color]

Although his interest seemed easily won, the challenge was in keeping it for longer than the time it took for him to get a good enough read on the person. He doubted she would be appreciative of the fact that she was well on her way to being the best part of his day for the mere fact she challenged him beyond his usual verbal sparring with the same people. His brows arched, pulling the corners of his lips into a bright smile when she took her jabs. He took another bite of his apple, maintaining his casual comportment where he might otherwise be inclined to bristle. He could see that she was used to maintaining her distance with her acerbic tongue and he simply couldn't allow her that luxury. Not right now at least. 

When she sat down, he took a spot on the bench next to her, straddling it as opposed to sitting properly. He leaned his elbow languidly on the tabletop as he studied her. Any specifics requests before I light the wick on your exploits? He didn't figure she would answer him directly on that, as it was becoming increasingly obvious that he was testing the limits of her patience. How long could he poke before she bit his fingers off? I could make you a legend you know. Might fit you better than champion, eh? How about the Merc Mistress of The Marches? He snorted at his own comment, thinking it sounded quite clever if he did say so himself. 

He switched the apple for the flagon of tea, sipping gingerly as he tilted his head in consideration. Right. '...make sure Antiva doesn't kill us all or kill the Prince..'. Sounds suspiciously vague, and perhaps something an assassin might say before she kills us all and our prince. He countered. I think you're full of shit. he quipped, his tone light with a genuine smile on his lips. He truly hoped she would play this game with him because he was desperately curious by now.

[font=Arial, serif]He was fortunate that beside the underlying nausea she was suffering, her mood was in good spirits. News of her arrival would have been top of the rumour mill working its way through the various quarters, at least the first person to approach her was of some competence. The tossed bait had been sidestepped, the silence interrupted. He’d amused her so far, but when her tolerance was reached, he’d find a cold, stone wall instead of mirth. Part of her wondered how he balanced, was he more smart than ass, or versa? Her, she’d like to believe she was a healthy balance, though everyone had their moments. [/font]

[font=Arial, serif]Eyes focused on her breakfast than him taking a seat, the scale tipping to ass, than smart with that. His question though, lifted the corner of her lips, tutting through her nose.[color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif] “Requests? ...Just one. Skip the whole third act of Kirkwall. I’m not interested in starting my day in a bad mood. You don’t want that either, Sunshine.”[/font][/color] Brows shrugged with deliberate intent. She wasn’t going to talk about the details, fucking politics, surrounding the massacre of Kirkwall. [/font]

[font=Arial, serif][color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“Legend, Champion, both shit titles that only get you shit patter,”[/font][/color] but then he let that rare diamond fall and Leaf’s head slowly turned to face him directly. [color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“That’s quite good. I’ll give you points for that one rare nugget.”[/font][/color] Without another ounce of praise or gratitude, she went back to the food, chowing down another piece of bacon as if being back to strangers. [/font]

[font=Arial, serif]When he spoke up again, Leaf nodded along until he veered off her script. She again stared at him a moment, when suddenly she genuinely smiled at him, head bobbing a little as she chewed. [color=#0074d9][font=Arial, serif]“And you like shitting on folk to see if they take it. Looks like we both work in shit, Sunshine.”[/font][/color][/font]