A colorful celebration of life

She grinned, shrugging. In the palace, everything's done for me, because I'm so busy. But I like to cook. Now, there were days where she didn't feel like cooking and was thankful the palace was staffed. But most of the time? She missed just... cooking.

He made a comment about sleep, or lack thereof, and she shrugged. I slept. A little bit. She stated, moving to balance the tray of food across the end of the bed, so that she could settle beside of him. Mostly tired around mid-afternoon, these days. But I'm used to going with little sleep, my life is pretty busy. She usually took a nap, if one could call sleeping for four hours at a time a nap. For a brief second, the happiness in her voice falters. Because her life is pretty busy. And she'd never wanted more children. Much less to be pregnant again.

But she wanted this one. She didn't even realize when the time lapsed and the sterility spell needed to be redone, she couldn't pinpoint the date. Back at the palace, she'd probably written it down somewhere. It was almost always around the same date, when she had to redo the spell that ensured she'd not get pregnant. Some accidents could be happy, she supposed. Anyway, I miss cooking. My children haven't tasted homecooked meals from me in... well, most of their lives. She murmured, pulling the tray to rest over her lap.

I'd like that to be different, with this one.

Magnus smiled at her, his heart filled with happiness.  

But...when she mentioned this time being different, a lump formed in his throat.  It was like the vibrant colors all around him suddenly became ashen and grey.  He sat up fully, facing Eularia with sad resolve.  

[color=#7CD98A]"There's...something I need to talk to you about." [/color] He steeled his nerves.  [color=#7CD98A]"I don't want it to cast a shadow on the joy we feel right now, but you need to know."[/color]

A hard swallow.

He forced his hands to be still, wanting desperately to do something with them to stave off the nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach.  What if this ruined things?  What if...what if this changed the way she felt about him?  He didn't really believe it would.  

But it would hurt her.  It would make her insides ache with a hint of the sadness he carried with him. That thought was abhorrent to him.  Yet, there was no way around it.  

He reached out for her hand.  

[color=#7CD98A]"I need to tell you about my daughter, Zita." [/color]

If he had said those words with a happier tone, with less sadness to them, Eularia would have been excited to learn about his child. But the room was sad, he was sad. And she knew better than to ask when she could meet the child; something in his face, the way he reached for her hand, told her she'd never meet her.

Eularia adjusted the tray of food, so that she could turn to face him. Her fingers twined through his, Okay. She squeezed his hand.

Some part of her imagined this conversation, these thoughts, were why his magic had been so unstable the day prior. It'd seem Magnus Rhysand wasn't as strong as she thought; not as unshakable as he liked the world to believe.

Zita. That's a gorgeous name.

[color=#e82a1f][TRIGGER WARNING:  CHILD DEATH][/color]

[color=#7CD98A]"She was beautiful.  A whirlwind of laughter and excitement.  She was more than I ever thought I'd..."  [/color]

The words caught in his throat and he swallowed again.  After a deep breath, he continued.

[color=#7CD98A]"It was two days before her fourth birthday.  I had been away and was rushing home so I could be there in time to celebrate."[/color]  He paused, gathering the strength to continue.  When he resumed, the story came out in slow choppy spurts.  [color=#7CD98A]"Her mother...my wife...owned a business.  Her partner...they...she thought I wouldn't understand.  They talked about running away together - but she said she couldn't take Zita away from me.  When he insisted, she thought better of the whole thing...wanted to end it.  He..."[/color]

Magnus closed his eyes against the vision that forced his way into his head. The hand holding hers reflexively tightened.

[color=#7CD98A]"He couldn't take the rejection.  If he couldn't have her..."[/color]

Another breath.

[color=#7CD98A]"I came home and found them."  [/color]

He opened his eyes and met Eularia's.  His own were full of tormented agony.  Quietly, he whispered, [color=#7CD98A]"It was a long time ago."  [/color]

Eularia listened, squeezing his hand tightly in her own. And by the end of it, she'd pulled him to her, free arm tight around him in a hug. I'm so sorry. That's... not the kind of thing that time can fix. She murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

Her first husband had been that way; and that's why she'd killed the possessive bastard. And that was why she'd never let a man make her feel like he owned her, again. She'd been trafficked, she'd been there. Never. Again.

She buried her face, briefly against Magnus' shoulder, her free hand brushing through his hair. And then she asked: Did you kill him? She'd pulled back from the hug, expectantly studying the man in front of her. I hope you did.

The look he gave her was as cold and hard as ice and, even if he had not verbally responded, would have communicated the answer as clear as day.  

[color=#7CD98A]"There was a lot of death that followed." [/color] Of course he had killed the bastard - as well as everyone who had known and kept it a secret.  He had embraced his fury, raining vengeance down like a summer monsoon.  [color=#7CD98A]"I killed him, though far more swiftly than he deserved." [/color] 

He had been the last to die.  He got to experience what it was to have everything ripped away from him, to know emptiness and hopelessness.  It wasn't enough.  Nothing would have ever been enough.  

He forced himself to the present, pushing the memories down into the inky black abyss in his mind.  

Wrapping his arms around her embrace, he was silent for a moment.  
[color=#7CD98A]
"So...I'm scared.  But for every ounce of scared I am, I am ten times more happy.  The past is terrible and tragic and...over.  And our children will be loved and grow old and love children of their own."  [/color]

They would.  They had to.

Eularia knew that kind of fury; it was the kind of black pit that Magnus had pulled her out of. He'd stopped more deaths, but had been too late to save the advisory council's lives. He'd saved her from herself, though.

He pulled her into his embrace, and she nodded against his shoulder. Nothing will happen to this child, Magnus. She stated this with confidence, tilting her head back to study him. They'll grow up loved, and have a family of their own.

She seemed to be oblivious that he might be worrying about Frankie, and what may happen when the king returned home. Probably because Eularia had never, in her life, considered her husband a threat. His temper caused a reputation that preceded how everyone thought of him.

Everyone but her. She'd weathered his temper like it was nothing more than a rainy day. You'll get to see them grow up, attend their birthday, teach them lessons... She didn't think any of it sounded like a fantasy; just reality.

And I'll be right there with you.

Magnus didn't have to open his mind to her thoughts to feel the strength of her belief.  It was the future that he had dreamt of.  Of course...there were still obstacles.  Francisco, for one. Eularia was convinced he was alive and fate was too cruel to allow anything else to be true.  He loved her...but Magnus knew too well how quickly love could turn violent.  Worse yet, the man's temper was notorious.

Magnus had meant it when he said he could share.  He'd never demand someone be all his, never demand they make an impossible choice, not after what had happened.  But that didn't mean he trusted that Francisco would do the same.  It didn't mean that he trusted that Eularia and their child would be safe.  

Not that he could ask the question or that he'd believe the assurances he'd undoubtedly give.  She would never lie about it...but objectivity was nearly impossible when you were in love.  

Once again, his mind picked up speed...rapidly cataloging strategies to keep the two people in the world that mattered most to him safe.

Eularia leaned into him, peering up at him. And then, she very carefully patted his cheek. Where'd you go, just now? She inquired, tracing her thumb along the line of his jaw. You're suddenly a thousand miles away. An accusation, though her tone was more concerned than accusatory. Where had he gone? And why had he gone there? She frowned up at him, and kissed his chin. Don't like when you hide in your head. She reminded him, as if he needed to be reminded. She didn't try to circumvent any blocks on his mind out of respect; though she found herself wondering if they were still evenly matched on that front. 

Tell me what's on your mind. She insisted, as she faced forward again, snuggling against his front, holding a piece of bacon over her head, towards his mouth. And eat. An order.

Magnus bit at the piece of bacon she held out to him. [color=#7CD98A] "As you wish, my love."  [/color]

As he chewed, he tried to think of what he could say.  He wouldn't lie to her, but he also didn't want to burden her with the weight of his worry - he'd done enough of that already.

[color=#7CD98A]"I was worrying."[/color]  He smiled, letting go of the thoughts he had held just a moment before. [color=#7CD98A] "But that's enough of that for the day.  Today, I want to hold you, and kiss you, and love you, and eat this perfect breakfast.  Today I want to dance in the sun with you and make you a dessert of my very own creation."  [/color]

He kissed her, letting the sweet taste of her lips mix with the salty bacon of his.  

And then, with both excitement and duty, he picked up his fork.

Eularia grinned at his smile, leaning to meet him for a kiss. No more worrying. Do that another time. I'm safe, therefore little Rhysand is too. Besides, on my own, I'm one of the safest people I know. With you here? Psh. Safest person in all of Thedas. She meant it too. He'd trained her in their teenage years; she'd grown a lot since then. So had he. She had no doubt that the way his magic felt; powerful enough to strangle her if she sought it out too often, that he could hold his own if he had to.

He was quick to tell her his plans, and she chuckled. Am I dessert? Eyebrows raised, she bit into a piece of bacon. 'cause I like the sound of being dessert. She stated, around her food.

He was eating. He was smiling. It'd be the perfect day. They'd worry another day, about the what-ifs, the maybes, the fears of the past. She wasn't going to think about her husband, or her children, or the shambles that her kingdom was toppling into. She was just a girl.

Magnus's smile took on a mischievous quality as he playfully responded to Eularia's question about the dessert he had promised,[color=#7CD98A] "I suppose you will have to wait and see what I had in mind."  [/color]

The answer was, of course, both yes and no.  He had every intention of gorging himself on the love of his life, of tasting her intoxicating mixture of love and hope and fierce individuality.  But he also had plans to make her a sweet delicacy of his own creation - one crafted years ago from her favorite elements and blended with the golden sunlight that filtered through her hair as she danced and the chocolate of her eyes. It was a recipe he had perfected in the time since they'd long ago lost each other.  

Originally, he had planned to serve it the night he proposed.  He'd never had that chance, though.  

But this was a time of wonder, a time of second chances.  He would not miss the opportunity again.  There were so many things he wanted to do right this time.  

His mind wandered to the small box in the pocket of the pants he had discarded somewhere between the door and their bed.  At this point, the small metal band inside had traveled with him for most of his life, a reminder never to let hesitation never rob him of the happiness that awaited the brave.  

Magnus leaned over and kissed Eularia's neck, leaving a tiny sticky smudge of berry syrup as evidence of the act.  

[color=#7CD98A]"Have I told you yet today how completely and utterly head-over-heels in love with you I am?"
[/color]
It was true.  Possibly too true, in fact, because even with all his training he knew it would take effort to maintain discretion about the way he felt about her...if that was something that continued to be necessary.  He half suspected she would, politics and danger be damned, announce their relationship before he had gathered enough information to be confident in their safety.  

He got it.  He wanted to shout about their love from the rooftop.  He hated hiding it, skulking around as if it were shameful.  But such deception was worth it if it kept them safe.  

Besides, he would strongly advise that she tell her children before the news could reach them through other means.

Eularia rolled her eyes, You're full of surprises. Though her tone is affectionate; clearly she enjoyed surprises given her husband's proclivities. She settled in for breakfast, thinking about her life. She had never seen a life with Magnus in it; not in a long, long time.

But there was no denying, that once upon a time, a silly sixteen year old had hoped her beau would marry her. Magnus had been older than she, it'd been ridiculous to believe he might love her like that. But now, he was here, and she was here and...

Some very small, closeted part of her was thrilled by the fact he'd held a candle for her even these years later. Even after a wife and child. His mind was wandering to, it'd seem, because he leaned to kiss her neck and she was pulled from her thoughts.

Are you? She mused, reaching to swipe her fingers through the dab of syrup, she'd suck them clean as she studied him. She shook her head at him, Don't you know it's dangerous to be so in love with me, Magnus Rhysand? She's teasing, though. Her tone is light, and she snuggled back against him as she said the words.

I suppose I'll have to look after your heart, very carefully. She took a bite of pancake. I cannot wait until we no longer have to hide, she murmured, around her pancake. It was perhaps the only thing she did not like; it reminded her too much of skulking around with a young Francesco, hiding from his mother, pretending she was hiding from her parents.

And then going that step further to hide her relationship with Magnus, from Frankie. It was insane to think back to the fact she had once been leading the prince on, while also madly in love with the man next to her.

Some things never change. And some things do. She loved both men, and would be damned if she gave up either one of them.

Magnus felt a swell of desire as he watched her lick her fingers, wanting desperately to cast aside the remnants of the breakfast she had so lovingly prepared, pull her back into bed, and get lost in a tangle of sheets and passion.  

But the comment about hiding brought him back to the moment.  It was something they would have to discuss.  He'd long ago learned to expect fate to be cruel in the most agonizing ways...so at this point, he expected Frankie's return to be inevitable.  He just hoped that once the man came back, he could be made to see reason.  He hoped that Frankie could be convinced that love wasn't finite...it was one of those things that grew the more you embraced it.  

He hoped, but in no way expected.  That wasn't the way life worked.  

Her children were another matter.  Certainly, some were reasonable, but others...well, he hardly expected that road to be smooth.  Again, though, he hoped they could be made to see reason.  Because the alternative would wound Lara in ways that he could not imagine.  

He wasn't really a praying man...but if he was, he'd pray that she'd never be made to choose.  

[color=#7CD98A]"I expect that we will have to figure out how we're going to manage that at some point.  As much as I want it to be out in the open, I also want to do so gently...at least for the people you love."  [/color]

Eularia watched him, sighing as she snuggled back against him, eating. And this is why I keep you around, she joked. He always carefully thought things through; she was sometimes rash and decisive, without considering consequences.

I love you, even if you're too careful for my tastes. Her husband had taught her to be spontaneous, do first, ask forgiveness later. She'd chastised him often for the behavior, but had loved it about him.

In his absence, it'd seem she'd picked it up. Or perhaps Magnus reminded her that she'd always been that way, when responsibilities weren't weighing her down.